


I will remember you, the way you are right now

by froopsen



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Art, Bisexual Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, LMAO, SO, Teacher Crush, This was supposed to be a joke, Uhm, a lot of purple lol, awkward angsty teen!Lin, bi disaster Lin, but then it evolved, hints at young linzin, it got so much longer than I thought it would, okay, simply a crush, teacher, yuko - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29343930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froopsen/pseuds/froopsen
Summary: Okay. I just want lil awkward angsty teen!Lin to have someone who understands her and is there for her and helps push her.So who better to be there than a middle aged art teacher who is pretty and tells her she's enough?Exactly, no one.
Relationships: Lin Beifong & Original Female Character(s), Lin Beifong/Kya II
Comments: 136
Kudos: 112





	1. Anytime you leave the room

**Author's Note:**

  * For [H0locene](https://archiveofourown.org/users/H0locene/gifts), [TelekineticIssue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TelekineticIssue/gifts).



> Thanks @TelekineticIssue and @H0locene for listening to my rants (and maybe breakdowns) about this fic and also being to blame for the existance of this.
> 
> I blame this gif for the existance of this fic.
> 
> https://tenor.com/view/puss-in-boots-cat-sad-face-please-emotional-gif-10136432

Kya opened the door to their apartment, surprised to find Lin’s boots already standing where she was about to put her own.

_Well, that’s strange._

She didn’t think much of it and simply discarded her coat and aimlessly threw it onto the nearest chair.

“Lin?” she asked quietly. Maybe she was asleep.

When she walked to the kitchen counter to drop her bag onto it, she saw a whole box of her own incense sticks and a few burnt and semi burnt matches carelessly spread across the dark marble.

Was this Lin trying to get on her nerves? What in spirit’s name was going on here? Lin _knew_ to ask before touching her incense.

She sighed. Wanting to drink a glass of water after her long day, she walked a little further into the kitchen, but she was not met with a clean sink either. A few foul grapes and what seemed to be a battlefield of ripped leaves and flower petals clung to the metal and Kya found herself recoiling in disgust. She just could not deal with a dirty sink and the only person more disgusted by it was Lin, so what was this?

“Lin?” Kya asked again, a little louder now maybe a hint of suspicion mixed into it.

She walked further into the apartment. The closer she got to the bedroom, the more incense flooded her nose to a point where it was maybe a little too strong even for her liking. There was simply no logical – or illogical – explanation for this.

She opened the door to their bedroom and held a hand under her nose. The room had a light fog she could see where the half-closed blinds let in some light. She could see little swirls of smoke coming from the nightstand behind their bed.

Before she could assess the number of things standing on the nightstand, her eyes caught on Lin, sitting on the floor in front of them. Kya quirked an eyebrow. This truly was unusual. Lin was sitting on her haunches, wearing her sweats and a tank top. Her hair was free of pins, loose strands framing her face, while her eyes were focused on the floor in front of her, almost bowing to the assemblage on the nightstand. She seemed to be very relaxed.

There was a blue wooden box lying on the bed. Pieces of lavender and what looked like ceramic shards lay in between a few old pictures and tickets.

_What is this?_

Only when Lin started humming a familiar tune, did Kya realize what was happening. She could feel her heart clenching at the sweet tones Lin made, memories of her own losses surfacing at the melody. She felt like an intruder all of a sudden. This was private. Private in ways Kya should not be a part of.

She made to move outside, but as soon as she took another step the humming stopped abruptly and Lin’s head whipped around, eyes wide in shock as she saw Kya standing there.

“I’m sorry.” Kya took a step back. “I didn’t know.”

“Get out!” she shouted.

Kya did, quickly backing out into the corridor and closing the door softly. She was cursing herself for walking in on such a vulnerable moment but decided not to beat herself up about it. She couldn’t have known, but she didn’t blame her for lashing out.

After an hour of reading on the couch and putting the book down every other paragraph because Kya felt herself drifting off thinking about the day, her patients and especially the pregnant woman she had tended to for longer than necessary so she could have a few more minutes without her other two children – they had been a certain kind of exhausting – Kya found herself getting a little worried about Lin. She hadn’t left the bedroom even though it seemed that she had been about done with the ceremony or at least in the middle of it, when Kya had interrupted. Half the ritual was the preparation itself.

She sighed, walking over to the bedroom once more. It was quiet so she knocked softly.

No answer.

“Lin?” she asked, trying to make her presence known.

No answer.

“Can I come in?”

No answer.

Kya sighed. “I’m coming in, love.” She slowly opened the door. The setting was different. Lin was in their bed now, lying atop the blankets curled onto her side, facing away from the door. The incense sticks were no longer smoking, but the room smelled heavily of the scent and lavender.

Kya decided to walk over to the window and open it for the semblance of fresh air.

She was trying to wave some fresh air inside, but really it did not help much. While doing so, she had the time to sneak a few glances at Lin. She wasn’t asleep, but she wasn’t looking at Kya either.

“Hey,” Kya tried again, carefully sitting down on the edge of the bed by Lin’s hip.

“I’m sorry for yelling,” Lin murmured into the arm she was resting her head on.

Kya smiled down at her, running a hand through Lin’s hair. “It’s okay,” she said, “I understand.”

When Kya retracted her hand from Lin’s head, the latter curled a little more around her and nuzzled her head against Kya’s thigh.

Kya let her gaze wander to the nightstand. There were all sorts of fruits, vegetables and flowers assembled. Red cabbage, red beets, grapes, figs, blue berries, blackberries, fresh dates, plums, some sort of seed that Kya couldn’t recognize. The flowers were beautiful violets, china asters, pansies, some cone flowers, clematis, orchids and even some blue-ish bellflowers. The purple theme was very obvious and its beauty made her smile.

Kya kept caressing Lin’s head and saw the picture in the middle of the nightstand. The right half of the picture was obscured, the cabbage resting in front of it, but Kya could see half of a teenage Lin, maybe seventeen. Her gaze caught on the woman next to Lin. The picture had been taken mid-laugh and Kya could see her laugh lines. She guessed her to be in her late forties. Partially grey hair with black strands in between, pulled back into a bun.

The longer Kya looked at the woman, the more she had to tell herself that any similarities she saw between the woman and herself, were in fact fragments of her imagination.

Well…they did look quite similar, but her nose was a little wider than Kya’s and her face a little rounder. She was a firenation woman, so not all that similar, but then again…

“Who is she?” Kya asked quietly, looking back at Lin.

Lin’s whole demeanor changed. She tensed up instantly and a furious blush started appearing as she eloquently stuttered her way through an answer. “She. Uhm, well. I mean. She, well technically. Uh, I – I had. Not had, but– well she.“ That’s when she stopped and squeezed her eyes shut, grumbling at herself in frustration.

 _Oh spirits_ did Kya want to know now. When Kya opened her mouth to reply something on the teasing end of remarks, Lin spoke up first.

“Kya,” Lin muttered, “promise not to make fun of me.”

Kya raised a brow, but the vulnerability in Lin’s voice made her nod.

“She was my art teacher in the last two years of school.”

“Oh,” Kya said as she started to understand.

“She was very kind and gentle and so beautiful,” Lin smiled, turning her face away, clearly flustered.

Kya couldn’t hold back a grin.

“I said not to make fun of me,” Lin grumbled.

Kya schooled her expression. “I’m not,” she reassured her, “I just think it’s really sweet of you to make all this.”

“Her favorite color was purple. I thought it made sense.”

Kya wanted to coo at how adorable this was, but she suppressed the urge. “Tell me about her, she seems very important.”

Lin sighed, wrapping an arm around Kya’s thigh. It was a weird angle, but it seemed to relax Lin a little.

Lin didn’t remember if she ever told anyone about Yuko, but Kya would understand.

“But don’t interrupt me,” Lin asked.

“I promise,” Kya smiled.

As Lin let herself remember…the scent of lavender came back to her first.

\-------------------------------------------- 

_In art class, Lin realized that she was a little different than the rest of her friends. Everyone was annoyed that they had to take it. Only some were excited because they got to show off their drawing skills. Everyone liked the teacher because she never gave bad grades and she didn’t care if the students left early or came half an hour late._

_She smiled at anyone, no matter when or how grumpy they were when they came through the door._

_She didn’t want them to call her by her last name, because she thought art was a personal subject, so they should call her by her first name, Yuko. She was a Firenation woman but had moved to Republic City twenty years ago and she loved teaching about art and wanted the kids to have some relaxing subjects during the stressful time that were the last two years of school._

_She was always in the art room, wore wide red shirts that complimented her brown eyes, her hair was always messy, but Lin found it looked beautiful and very soft and when Yuko leaned over the desk to give Lin some tips on her work, Lin always caught a whiff of her lavender perfume that never ceased to make her heart beat faster._

_She wore purple eyeshadow and it was always slightly smudged and even if the other girls that wore much more make up than Lin made fun of their teacher for the imperfect make up, Lin thought that it only enhanced her natural beauty._

_A few months into the year, Lin started preparing for questions Yuko would ask during the lesson. Lin found herself learning about art and the techniques of the four nations and how bending was applied to it._

_“When do you guys think the color red was used for other pieces than just royal paintings?” Lin knew, Lin answered, Yuko smiled and Lin’s pulse quickened._

_“How do you best understand why a certain artform manifested in one nation more than the other?” Lin knew, Lin grinned, Yuko saw and called on her. Lin answered, Yuko nodded and Lin’s day was brighter until she got home._

_Yuko was a non-bender, but she loved sculpting with clay and Lin thought that no earthbender – not even her mother – could ever come close to the beautiful art Yoko made with her hands (hands, that Lin spent a little too much time watching as Yuko gestured her way through the lessons)._

_Sometimes Yuko asked Lin questions about metal. Lin always answered and found herself reading up on all kinds of metals at home, asking her mother about the different properties. And when Yuko put her hand on Lin’s shoulder and said “I bet you’re the smartest Beifong” with a wink one day, all the comments from Su for reading boring art books ‘like some nerd’ were worth it._

_One day, Yuko asked Lin if she thinks the other students would be interested in an extra art lesson a week where they could use whatever medium they wanted or where they could just talk about art. Lin’s eyes went wide just at the prospect of being able to spend another hour a week with the woman that gave her all this positive energy and made her feel all these…feelings. So she told her that yes, it was a good idea and when Yuko seemed a little doubtful whether anyone would sign up, Lin looked up at her shyly and said, “I would come.”_

_Yuko smiled, “I’m counting on it!”_

_Since Lin already signed all important documents for Toph, she didn’t even have to fake the signature. She knew her mother didn’t want her to take the extra class, but it wasn’t something she would find out about since she never even went to parent teacher conferences. Toph had the firm belief that if there was an actual problem, the school would contact her directly and not wait for her to come to the school._

_Lin and a few more girls signed up for the class, but they had done it for the extra credit when it came to the final grade. Most times, they didn’t even show up. Lin noticed that Yuko was a little sad about it, so she made sure to always bring new questions and interesting topics to cheer her up again. It always worked and soon the two of them had come to know a lot of things about each other. Quickly Wednesday became Lin’s favorite day of the week and she filled several sketchbooks that Yuko always flipped through with an impressed expression._

_One day, Yuko was working on a new clay piece and noticed how Lin kept watching her, so she asked, “Would you want to try working with clay, too?”_

_Lin beamed at her teacher and nodded enthusiastically._

_“But no bending,” Yuko challenged and Lin seemed hesitant all of a sudden. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.”_

_Lin smiled. “Okay.”_

_And so Lin learned how to mold clay, how to wet it accordingly, how to use different techniques, additive and subtractive, using only fingers and using tools that Yuko explained to her in length. When Lin simply bended the excess clay off her hands after the first time, Yuko looked at her almost in awe and Lin mustered up all the courage a seventeen-year-old could find within herself and asked if she should clean Yuko’s hands as well. Yuko smiled and stretched her hands in Lin’s direction. It became a habit and Lin always loved when Yuko looked at her like Lin was doing something special. Sometimes they took two hours instead of one and Lin always told Yuko that she didn’t have to be anywhere even if she sometimes missed a mediation session with Aang for it._

_“What’s keeping you away from my sessions?” Aang had asked her once and she had lowered her head._

_“I have an art class at school and it’s really interesting, but Mom doesn’t know, so I use your sessions as a cover, but please don’t tell her, I promise I can do double the mediation time at home. I can wake up earlier for it, I just want to do the art class.”_

_Aang had beamed at her and asked her what the course was like, if he could see some of her sketches and told her he would simply move the meditation an hour later so she could join as well. She hugged him and thanked him and Aang said that maybe Toph would be alright with the added lesson and she should tell her, but Lin didn’t want to risk it, so she kept quiet._

_Lin enjoyed that when she was with Yuko, she didn’t have to look at her to talk to her – that made her too nervous as it was. They were both focused on the art, yet they made interesting conversation. Yuko always had a story to tell or a question to ask and Lin wondered if she would ever be as skilled at stringing on a conversation like her – if she would ever not say something weird that would make the other person pause and not know how to keep going._

_“You know, Lin,” Yuko said one day, “A friend of mine has a gallery and each year he asks me to show some of my students’ work at one of his exhibitions. Would you allow me to take some of yours for that?”_

_Lin almost dropped the piece of clay she’d been handling. “Is it even good enough for that?” she asked awkwardly, “The other’s drawings are much cleaner than mine.”_

_Yuko put down the vase on which she’d been drawing the most delicate of flowers. “You can say no, if you don’t want it.”_

_Lin trained her gaze on the clay as she smoothed it over with her fingers. “Yes, I mean, no. I would want to, but-“ she sighed, “I just don’t want to disappoint your friend if my stuff isn’t pretty enough for a gallery.”_

_“Lin,” she said again and there was so much warmth in her voice that Lin thought she needed to not look at her more often in order to hear it again, but she turned to look at her._

_Yuko rested her chin on her hand. “He doesn’t want pretty, he wants unique and skilled. The fact that your work is beautiful is just a bonus.”_

_Lin felt heat rising to her face again, but didn’t want to look away, so she nodded curtly. “Well, if you think I should do it, then I will.”_

_“I think you should.”_

_“Okay.” Lin smiled at the clay in front of her._

_“And Lin.”_

_“Hm?”_

_“Don’t sell yourself short.”_

_Lin didn’t answer but she felt her whole chest warm at the honesty. Yuko really thought she should show her work in an actual gallery.  
._

_._

_./._

_._

_.  
In the weeks before the exhibition, Lin thought she should tell her mother about it in case she wanted to come and after talking to Aang again, she did._

_“I won’t even be able to see any of it,” her mother said at the dinner table._

_“Well, I have some clay pieces, too,” Lin tried again, “You could feel them.”_

_“They’re probably ugly,” Su chimed in._

_“Su, what is it with you lately?” Toph chastised, effectively making her younger daughter focus on the fish soup again, “And if I’ve learned one thing about art from your grandparents, it’s that art isn’t there to be touched.”_

_“You could-“_

_“Lin,” Toph sighed impatiently, “It’s been a long day and I just want to eat my food. Besides, I don’t have time for those snobby art people.”_

_Lin felt a sting in her chest. Wasn’t she an art person, too? She wanted to say that her mother had no clue about ‘art people’ and that not all of them were snobby and that some of them were nice and gentle and told her that her art was beautiful, but she bit her lip._

_“Can’t you just ask Sokka to go with you? He likes drawing,” Toph tried again._

_Su chuckled, “I never recognize what he says he’s drawing.”_

_Toph smirked. “I said he likes drawing, not that he’s good at it.”_

_“My teacher says my art is good,” Lin tried shifting the topic back to her art showing._

_“Well that’s perfect. Just ask him to be there.”_

_“Her,” Lin grumbled, “And she already is. You never listen to me.”_

_“My ears work just fine.”_

_Lin didn’t continue. At least she had tried.  
._

_._

_./._

_._

_.  
The day of the showing she was nervous as her friends had been before the last school dance. She got to the gallery before Yuko. She doubted if she was at the right one, but the man who she guessed to be Yuko’s friend opened the door for her to enter._

_“Hey, can I help you?”_

_“Uhm. I’m Lin.”_

_“Oh, you’re one of Yuko’s kids!”_

_Lin raised a brow._

_“That’s what she calls her students, sorry I’m stressed, nice to meet you. I’m Lee.”_

_“Nice to meet you,” Lin echoed and looked around the place as she entered. It was an open gallery with lights hanging in the middle. They seemed adjustable and most of them shone onto the art pieces. Lin’s eyes widened at the sight of Lee’s paintings. They were large and full of captivating swirls that turned into faces if you looked at them for long enough._

_Then her eyes found one of her own works. It was a drawing. The lines of the portrait were what she called ‘messy’ and what Yuko called ‘elaborate’. Lines drawn with black coal staring back at her as a face she’d seen in a nightmare once. She thought that it looked better with the way the light was shining onto it and the dark frame around it._

_Maybe Yuko was right. She hadn’t seen the portrait in weeks so she had almost forgotten about the things she thought she could have done better._

_Lin heard Yuko’s voice. When she turned around, she saw her embracing Lee and they exchanged a kiss on either cheek. Lin’s heart dropped at the sight, but she tried to push it away. What did she care if Yuko had a boyfriend? He was talented and seemed nice and Yuko…who wouldn’t want to be with her?_

_“Hey there, Lin,” Yuko greeted her, walking closer, beaming. Her bun seemed much more put together and the less chaotic look suited her, too. She looked very beautiful in the flowy purple dress she wore. “You were early, I heard.”_

_“I didn’t want to be late,” she admitted, evading Yuko’s gaze._

_“Are you okay?” Yuko asked._

_“Yeah.”_

_“Nervous?”_

_She shook her head, no. Yuko was still looking at her and Lin felt the need to say something._

_“I just wish my Mom were here,” she muttered and quickly realized how childish it sounded. She cringed. She didn’t want Yuko to think of her like a child. Her friend – boyfriend? – calling her kid earlier had stung, so now she was cursing herself for placing herself in a role like that._

_“I’m sure she appreciates your art.”_

_“She can’t even see it.”_

_“She doesn’t have to see it to appreciate it.”_

_“You don’t know my mom,” Lin scoffed crossing her arms, “She doesn’t care about this.”_

_Yuko frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that,” she said and Lin almost thought she’d misheard. Everyone always told her to get over it and that her mom was a legend and that she was lucky to have her. No one took her seriously. Yuko did. “But tonight there are going to be all sorts of people who will appreciate your art.”_

_“You don’t know that,” Lin retorted, but smiled._

_“I’ve got a feeling,” Yuko replied, winking again._

_Lee waved and Yuko gave a thumbs up._

_“Is he your boyfriend?” The question slipped before Lin could think it through again. She panicked the next second, palms growing extremely sweaty and she hoped no one could see the sweat under her armpits seeping into her blouse._

_“No,” Yuko chuckled, “I told you he’s my friend.”_

_Somehow Lin thought a lecture about privacy would follow next, but Yuko just looked at her, amused. When Lin’s spooked expression didn’t change, her gaze flicked across Lin’s face, somehow searching. After a moment of careful consideration Yuko pointed at a man standing next to one of the high tables with champagne, “That’s Lee’s husband.”_

_Lin looked back at Yuko and her face relaxed visibly. “Oh,” she said, “Well, I probably wouldn’t tell my students if I had a boyfriend, either,” Lin conceded quietly._

_“I wouldn’t,” Yuko smiled, “But I would tell you.”_

_Lin’s heart fluttered. She was happy Yuko trusted her like that._

_The duration of the exhibition was spent watching other people watch her art and at some point, a man came towards where Lin was standing with Yuko and Lee. He had a mustache, his dark hair was slicked back and Lin thought that this must be what her mom meant when she’d said ‘snobby art people’._

_“Good evening, Lee.”_

_Lee smiled and bowed slightly. “Good evening.”_

_“And who are you lovely ladies?”_

_Lin exchanged a look with Yuko that assured her that yes, they were thinking the same thing. Yuko introduced herself._

_“And you are?”_

_Lin wasn’t used to introducing herself, since she had never met someone in a context like this._

_“Uhm, I’m Lin.”_

_“Just Lin?”_

_Lin looked at Yuko and then heard her teacher say, “Just Lin.”_

_He looked at Lee again, seemingly forgetting their presence._

_“There are some pieces I am quite interested in,” he informed and Lee waited. He seemed to know the man well enough. It felt less like a conversation and more a dance between the two._

_As it turned out, the man was interested in Lin’s portrait._

_“It’s very interesting how the use of coal expresses so much more emotion than bland pencil drawings. I’d like to buy it.”_

_Lin felt her palms growing sweaty again, but didn’t have enough time to curse puberty, instead choosing to present herself as confidently as she could, when Lee said that, “You’ll have to ask Lin if she’s even interested in selling.”_

_The man turned to her with a surprised look. “Well I’m sure such a nice girl like you could use some extra money. I’d be willing to pay whichever price you set.”_

_Lin resisted the urge to challenge him (right after the one to roll her eyes), but crossed her arms, nonetheless. “I’m not sure it’s for sale.”_

_“Well, it would surely help your reputation in the art scene to have sold one of your pieces to someone like me,” he emphasized and simultaneously made Lin want to tell him off with words her mother would use in a situation like this one – rightfully so. However, she didn’t want to embarrass Lee or Yuko, so she restrained herself._

_“I’m not sure it’s for sale,” Lin repeated politely._

_Yuko caught on and put an almost protective hand on Lin’s shoulder – effectively making it hard for Lin to focus on the conversation._

_“How about you give Lin a number to call in case she decides to sell the piece. I’m sure she’ll think hard about it.”_

_And because apparently an adult who didn’t create the piece had more weight to their words, the man finally seemed to back off. He pulled out a notepad, scribbled down a number, handed the paper to Lin, who took it with a polite, “Thank you.”_

_“I’ll be looking forward to your call,” he said finally, lowering his head as to say ‘goodbye’ to the three of them and walked off._

_“You’re a tough one,” Lee said with an impressed smirked, “You should really think it over. He pays good money.”_

_She nodded. Maybe her intuition was wrong. She really didn’t know anything about the art scene. Maybe this was just how things went. Maybe no one was like Yuko._

_When the exhibition was over and the last people were leaving, Yuko offered to drive her home, since it was dark out and pretty late. She didn’t want Lin’s mother to worry too much. Because it because meant spending more time with Yuko, Lin didn’t mention how her mother was a little laxer than most mothers when it came to curfews (as long as she knew where her kids were at all times)._

_“You look very sharp today,” Yuko mentioned when Lin swung the black coat around her shoulders._

_Lin smiled widely and thanked her. She had chosen slacks and a green blouse that Katara had gifted her once. “You look very nice, too,” she muttered after they had gotten into Yuko’s sato mobile._

_“Thank you, Lin,” she smiled and checked if the road was clear, her tassel earrings moving in time with her head and Lin thought that the skin on her neck looked very soft, quickly stopping that train of thought. Why in spirits name would she think that?_

_After Lin had told her where to drive, Yuko popped a minty sort of candy into her mouth and offered one to her. Lin took it even though she didn’t really want one._

_“So,” Yuko asked hesitantly, “Are you going to give him a call about the portrait?”_

_Lin was tapping her fingers against her thigh. “I don’t know. Lee said I should.”_

_Yuko looked over at her as they stood at a traffic light. “Do you want to?”_

_Lin shrugged her shoulders, looking out the window._

_“Do you want to know what I think?”_

_Lin turned to look at her, which seemed to be enough confirmation._

_“I think you should listen to your gut.”_

_Lin kept quiet._

_“Of course you have to decide for yourself, but when it comes to selling art, there is often more to consider than just money and status,” she told her, shifting gears, “If I’m not comfortable with a buyer, I won’t sell them my art.”_

_This surprised Lin, “You don’t?”_

_“No.”_

_Lin hummed. “I don’t think I want to sell it, not to him of all people.”_

_Yuko laughed lightly and Lin wanted to hear it again._

_“You don’t have to sell to him. If you want to wait if someone else likes it, I can ask Lee to keep it there a little longer.”_

_“Why are you being so nice to me?” Lin asked quietly. Yuko really had no reason._

_“Well for one, you are talented and besides that, I don’t get many students who are this interested in art as you are. I like teaching you and you seem to be genuinely intrigued by things.”_

_Lin smiled. “Thank you for taking me seriously.”_

_“I remember what it’s like being your age, even if I’m far from it now.”_

_“You’re not old,” Lin said instinctively._

_“No, but at forty-six I am no teenager, Lin.”_

_Lin glanced at her again. She wanted to make sure that Yuko knew how Lin wished she weren’t so much older than her but kept quiet because it felt inappropriate._

_“Ugh, I’m getting a headache,” Yuko complained, taking her hands of the wheel at the next stoplight._

_Lin watched as she tried to wrestle her hair free from the thick hair tie. She got about halfway when the light turned green and Lin reminded her that she had to drive._

_“Can you help me with the hair, please?” Yuko asked and Lin froze in her seat. She didn’t know why but she suddenly couldn’t think how to. She thought Yuko would get mad at her if she touched her hair – ignoring the fact that she’d just asked her to do exactly that._

_“Uhm, sure,” she said, leaning closer to her, burying one hand in the hair that was as soft as it looked and pulling on the hair tie with the other until she’d gotten it out, holding it in her hand._

_At the next stop light – there really were a lot on this route, Lin noticed for the first time – Yuko ruffled through her own hair and oh, how Lin suddenly wanted to touch it again. She quickly looked away, unconsciously playing with the hair tie in her hands. When Yuko noticed, she didn’t mention it, but made a mental note to make Lin give it back before she left the sato mobile._

_“Did you have a little fun tonight?” Yuko asked._

_“Yeah,” Lin said, “But I prefer the quiet art room, where I don’t have to think that much.”_

_Yuko chuckled, “I get that.”_

_“But you talk in front of classes all day, you’re not awkward like me.”_

_Yuko could hear the bitter note in the statement and wondered who had supplied that specific adjective for her to use. Maybe a friend, maybe someone who Lin tried to avoid in the hallways. Did Lin have people around her who were cruel and deemed it necessary to make Lin feel this way? Yuko was suddenly overcome with the urge to protect the girl._

_“I’ve seen you hold presentations in class, you seem very confident then,” Yuko countered._

_“I think it makes me confident when I know more than the others,” Lin admitted, surprising herself with the confession._

_“Everyone does. It gives a sense of supremacy and therefore safety.”_

_Lin hummed again. It did make sense – quite a lot of it. “Some people are confident without knowing anything.”_

_Now Yuko was sure, Lin had someone just like it in her life. She made an effort to change topics. “Yeah, like that guy at the gallery,” Yuko scoffed._

_“He was being very…” Lin trailed off, not knowing how to describe him correctly._

_“Sexist, condescending, ignorant, pretentious, snobby, not very perceptive,” Yuko supplied and they both laughed after a small pause._

_“Yes,” Lin chuckled a little later, “He was all that.”_  
.

.

./.


	2. you will not be surprised, to see your name across my smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter, but the cut at the end made more sense, than after the next :D  
> enjoy!

A few weeks after the art show, the last week of school before summer break came around and Lin wasn’t quite looking forward to it like she used to – or like her friends and Su were doing.

Yuko and her were sitting in the art room for the last extra-lesson of the year. Again, only the two of them.

“How come they don’t even show up for the last one?” Yuko sighed disappointedly.

“They didn’t show all year,” Lin noted, secretly being glad she’d had so much alone-time with what she now recognized to be a crush. Since the exhibition, she’d started reflecting on her thoughts and feelings that night and she’d noticed a few patterns and how they were similar to what her friends couldn’t stop shutting up about when it came to boys and girls.

Lin thought it was logical. Yuko was nice, intelligent, funny, beautiful and took her seriously. Why wouldn’t she develop … feelings. She was very embarrassed about it, because Yuko still was a woman and she was that much older than her. If she told anyone, she was sure they would make fun of her for it and understand her even less than before. Lin knew it would never lead anywhere but that didn’t make it any easier to control the way her heart fluttered when Yuko said something nice or shared something personal or touched her shoulder or hand when she helped her with technique.

Now that the school year was coming to an end, Lin was scared that they would be back to a more distant relationship after the summer break, that maybe she’d find a new favorite student with the new ones that would come in – it was so stupid.

Lin tried to zone back in and she noticed how Yuko seemed to be actually sad about only Lin showing up.

“We could, we could do something fun,” Lin suggested carefully.

She looked up at her. “Fun?”

“We could get ice cream,” Lin said, “There is a café nearby.”

Yuko looked at her, contemplating.

“Or maybe that’s not a good idea,” Lin backtracked, “We could also just sketch.” Her voice grew quiet, “You said last week that you hadn’t drawn anything in a long time.”

“Because I’ve been so focused on my pottery,” Yuko continued repeating her own words from the week before, “You’re right.”

Lin shrugged her shoulders. As long as Yuko wouldn’t cancel the lesson, she didn’t care what they did. All she wanted was to spend some time with her and commit every minute to her memory, so she wouldn’t have to miss Yuko’s presence too bad during summer break.

Yuko smiled. “Let’s sketch, but let’s put a twist on it,” Yuko grinned and picked up her own sketch book, “We draw each other. It’s a basic exercise but I realized I never did it with you.”

Lin could feel herself blushing, like she’d come to do a lot around her and promptly reached into her backpack to hide it, getting her sketchbook out.

“I’ll go first, so just stay still.”

“Should I smile?” Lin asked, unsure and suddenly very overwhelmed.

“Why not, you do it so rarely,” Yuko muttered, already trying to choose a shade of pastel chalk.

“You’re gonna sketch with that?” Lin asked surprised – trying not to think too hard about how Yuko apparently noticed her smiles.

“I never liked doing it with pencil,” Yuko shrugged, getting comfortable in her chair, “What’s your favorite color?”

“Green,” Lin muttered and tried to sit still.

She grabbed a green one and Lin did her best not to move. Soon after, Yuko’s brow furrowed in that way it did when she concentrated on something. It took about three minutes, then Yuko asked her to turn her head to the side while keeping her torso facing her for the second sketch.

“Do I have to keep smiling? It’s kind of exhausting,” Lin admitted. If Yuko wanted her to smile, she would keep doing it – no matter how uncomfortable her face got or how awkward she felt for doing it. She would do whatever Yuko wanted.

Yuko chuckled. She knew, having sat for many art classes during her own studies. “No you don’t. Just try and keep your face relaxed and neutral oh and look at – “ she turned around “the window, to your left.”

Lin did as told, looking away to the window. It took longer. Lin tried to glance at the clock every now and again.

Lin had an incredibly symmetrical face and Yuko thought her cheekbones and sharp angles were gorgeous. She made a note to enhance the most prominent features. She wanted her to be happy with the result, which would be achieved with a realistic approach – if she knew anything about the girl.

“You’re doing very well,” Yuko told her after ten minutes and Lin smiled shortly. “I’m almost done, don’t worry.”

Lin thought that this was unusual but somehow better than ice cream and she would risk a sore neck any day for it if Yuko thought she was doing well. However it didn’t take a second longer.

“Alright, Lin, I’m done. Thank you.”

Lin turned her head back and started lightly massaging her neck. Who would have thought sitting completely still would be this exhausting?

Yuko looked at her expectantly after she had set her sketch book aside. She really meant it. Lin was supposed to draw her.

“What’s your favorite color?” Lin asked shyly, mirroring Yuko’s approach.

“Anything purple or violet,” she answered and smiled, because Lin had already reached for the color before her answer had sounded. Yuko reckoned it was rather obvious if anyone paid enough attention. “How do you want me to sit?”

Lin looked at her. “Just- you can stay like that,” she said, not quite comfortable with telling her anything else, though her mind could come up with quite a few.

She did. Lin took ten minutes just like Yuko because taking any longer would have made her feel pressured to show something detailed and she knew it would not help the outcome of her drawing.

“I’m done,” she murmured.

“Well for the second one you’re gonna have to choose something different,” Yuko encouraged. She knew Lin was talented enough to try something more difficult.

Lin felt heat creeping to her cheeks already. There was one thing she really wanted to see again. “Can you let your hair down?”

Yuko smiled, getting rid of her hair tie and moved her strands to lay loosely around her shoulders.

“Anything else? Try and challenge yourself a little with the position,” she instructed.

Lin ended up telling her to lean her elbow against the table and cock her head to the side. Yuko did. “You can take longer for this one if you want. I’m used to sitting for people.”

“You are?” Lin asked, receiving a nod before flipping to a new page choosing a lighter purple tone – she wanted this to be perfect, wanted Yuko to like the drawing. It felt more important than any exam.

“Have you ever done an art class, Lin? Outside of school? Sometimes they offer them at the museum.”

“No, I haven’t,” she replied, looked at her pose intently, while making the first strokes on the paper. She reveled in the knowledge of being able to look and glance at all of Yuko without having to worry about making her uncomfortable. It was for the drawing.

“They have some nude drawing courses, too, if you’re ever interested in that. We can’t do those at school, but it’s great for anatomy work.”

Suddenly, Lin focused **very** hard on the paper but made a non-committal noise, so Yuko knew she’d heard her and wouldn’t repeat it.

Yuko didn’t want to make Lin uncomfortable, so she simply changed the topic. “You can use your chalk for measuring the proportions, remember?”

Lin hummed, but had already moved on to the detailing.

“Do you have any plans for the summer?” Yuko asked between two of Lin’s glances.

“My family always goes to Ember Island during the summer. I think it’s too hot there,” Lin told her. “but I don’t want to stay at home alone, so probably that. It’ll be nice to spend time with everyone. Zuko and Izumi can’t make it this time, but I think Sokka has some things planned,” she chuckled to herself.

“Sometimes I forget that you are-“ she stopped herself when Lin glanced up for reference, “connected to all these important people.”

Lin sighed, “Maybe that’s why I like being in this room so much.”

Yuko clicked her tongue in empathy.

“Sorry,” Lin muttered, mistaking it for something more familiar: reprimand. “I swear I’m not ungrateful.”

“I know,” Yuko replied sincerely, “Do people treat you differently a lot?”

“I mean,” she pressed her fingers harder against the chalk, “They usually are a little distanced and treat me like I’m about to eat them. Some are…they do this weird thing where they try to get stories out of me and they make their little assumptions about how they all are – how we all are – and they try to get close to me so they can say they know me or whatever. But I can tell the difference between genuine interest and…that.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Yuko said, trying not to frown, simultaneously appreciating how much trust her student put in her, telling her all this.

“It’s nothing. Not like I can do anything about it. Besides, there’s worse things, right?” She huffed a bitter laugh. “So who am I to complain about having a famous family?”

Yuko almost broke her pose to go and hug the girl. Instead she reassured her, “You’re allowed to have your own struggles, Lin.”

Their conversation died down again after that and soon Lin was mostly done. When she finished, Lin cleaned her sketch up with some darker lines while Yuko brushed over hers to create some softness within the sketch – her favorite thing about drawing with chalk, she said. Yuko took longer. Finally, they exchanged sketch books.

“Lin, these look lovely,” Yuko said, “Oh, I enjoy your style so much, but I must sound like a broken record saying this,” she chuckled. “I think I might be at a point where I could recognize your drawings out of context.” 

Lin’s heart jumped both at what Yuko said and the paper she held in her own hands. She was looking at herself, but it was no mirror of sorts. Yuko had used such precise strokes and Lin thought that the woman in green only made of lines, sharp angles and soft surface was beautiful. She thought she was beautiful.

“Is this what I look like?” Lin asked in awe.

“You do in my style,” then, when she noticed the expression on the young girl’s face, she added, “You can keep it if you want.”

Lin looked up at her. “You’d let me keep them?”

“Of course, Lin.” With that, Yuko took the sketch book and carefully ripped the page filled with Lin’s face out of the book, reaching it over the table. “Do you have some hair spray with you?”

“Ha!” Lin laughed out loud at that. “Do I look like someone who does?”

Yuko chuckled and got up. “For you, I’ll use the expensive stuff,” she spoke, walking to a drawer, “But you best keep this to yourself or I’ll go broke over my students using it.” She came back with a transparent bottle and started spraying some sort of solution over the drawings she’d made of her student.

“Here we go, now let it dry for a moment or two and you shouldn’t have a problem taking it home.”

Lin did and on her way home, she stopped by her favorite store for art supplies where she bought a protective foil. The vendor gave her a discount since she had been his best customer for a while now – where the girl got all the money for art supplies was beyond him, but he didn’t question it. When Lin got home, she put the drawings inside of a portfolio in order to preserve it for as long as possible. She knew she would be taking it out to look at it for comfort. She was secretly glad that Yuko hadn’t made them exchange sketches, so she also had the one’s of her that she could look at in case she’d miss her over the summer.


	3. always going out of tune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lil bit of legacy sturggle....because we gotta✨sprinkle that in✨

The first months back to school were different. Yuko had much more to do and the extra lesson wasn’t happening anymore, since no other person than Lin had signed up. Lin went back to dreading school and the stress of achieving perfect grades caught back up with her. Stress that the extra lesson (or Yuko’s company) had taken away in the past year.

Lin knew Su was one of the students who had the pleasure of being taught by Yuko in the new school year. What if Su would be her new favorite? Most people liked Su better. She wasn’t awkward no matter how much Lin tried to tell herself, that the awkwardness would come, Su seemed to skip it like half her steps while dancing her way through the hallways. She felt herself getting almost jealous of her sister and hated how it could get under her skin. She hated herself more, for thinking of Yuko like something she could keep to herself – what had gotten into her? She was so ashamed for it, too. What would Yuko think if she knew? Lin thought jealousy was the ugliest of emotions. I have no right, she told herself. When it got bad, she went on a run or asked her mother to spar. It always worked, but on some days, the jealousy resurfaced.

That jealousy turned into anger, when Su complained about Yuko or made fun of the quirks that Lin adored about the woman. To Su she was ‘annoying’, apparently ‘fake’ and ‘too nice’. Lin always argued that Su knew nothing about her and soon Su caught on to the fact that she could get Lin riled up by simply mentioning the teacher. After Su had been reprimanded several times at the dinner table, she was smart enough not to tease Lin in the company of their mother, who from then on considered the problem solved.

“And her eyeshadow is smudged. Does she not look in the mirror before leaving the house? Even I can do my makeup better than that and I’m only thirteen,” Su said with a hint of unintentional ‘I know everything’ that was just enough to make Lin furious.

“Maybe because she doesn’t care what others think of her and she’s not superficial like everyone in this fucking city.” She slammed the door for emphasis.

In order to escape home, Lin spent more time at the library. Studying and reading up on different things to stay ahead of the curriculum. Her teachers always praised her discipline and she found that most subjects were more interesting if she chose when and how much to read up on certain topics.

Lin found herself drawing less and less and instead discovered how interesting the social studies classes were and how much she really enjoyed the feeling of achievement that came from the tough bending training, that her mother either booked for her or did with her together. Lin listened to her mother talk about her job with a new and at first unfamiliar interest.

Lin started asking about the interrogations and which techniques were used. She found the psychology behind it fascinating and reading about the grave societal injustices filled her with a powerful urge, making her want to change the way things were around her. She understood that many things were impossibly complex, and she wanted to understand all of them. She wanted to show others, too. Why was no one talking about this? Everyone should be talking about this! She read books on triad history and when a book about gang codes fell into her hands, she made it her mission to learn the terms by heart.

Toph noticed the change. One evening she checked in on Lin and asked her what she was doing.

“I found a book at the library,” she smiled, “It’s by this psychologist who works mainly with incarcerated men and women and there are so many conversations about their actual crimes in there. Just let me finish the next chapter, he’s getting to the serial murderers. I’ll be quiet when going to bed, I promise.” 

Toph smiled at her. “Alright.”

Lin buried her nose back in the book. Her mother kept standing in the doorframe. “Did you need something?” Lin asked hesitantly.

“Would you want to come to an event with me?”

“What event?”

“It’s one of those stupid pretentious galas. They have good food though and maybe you can meet some interesting people.”

Lin was surprised. “Uhm, yeah. You’d want me there?”

“Who else to stop me from yelling at people who definitely need it?” she smirked.

Lin beamed at her. “Okay.”

“Great.”

“What about Su?” Lin murmured.

“Too young,” Toph shrugged her shoulders, “Besides, I haven’t talked to you in a while, maybe we can get a moment or two to ourselves. Maybe you can tell me about your serial killers over the buffet.”

.

.

./.

.

.

While Lin got ready for the evening, she couldn’t help but remember how her mother hadn’t been able to come to Lin’s art showing, but she thought it was petty of her to hang on to that, so she pushed the thought away. They talked in the sato mobile on the way there. During the event itself they had barely a moment alone, so many people coming up to them. All of them wearing beautiful dresses and expensive suits. It felt like a different world and Lin wondered why Toph never really dressed up. Lin knew she had some nice blazers.

The people thanked the great Chief for the work she was doing. Lin smiled. Her mother brushed everything off or was semi-polite about it, but Lin felt how much it meant to her. Lin understood a lot of things that evening. These people depended on her mother – not directly, but everyone counted on her, keeping the city safe. She knew it was a great responsibility, but there had always been nights where she thought maybe eight years old wasn’t old enough to be home alone at night after all and where she had wondered if other kids shared their parent with a whole city.

As she stood on the side, she talked to a woman on the Force and she told Lin about missions her mother didn’t like to discuss at the dinner table. She told Lin how much Toph had changed for the city, how people felt safe and how they as officers did their best to improve not only the city but people’s general feeling of safety. She asked Lin what she wanted to do after school and Lin shrugged her shoulders.

“Maybe you should consider joining the Force. Chief sometimes yells at us how her daughter could beat our asses if she let you,” the woman laughed.

Lin smiled at the indirect compliment, knowing how it probably wasn’t true, but the anecdote meant more to her than the officer realized.

“Mom?”

They were sitting in the sato mobile on the way back home and Toph seemed utterly exhausted, while Lin had so many questions.

“Mh?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Why? You didn’t tell my officers any embarrassing stories about me, did you?” she chuckled.

Lin smiled. “No. I’m just…”

“What is it, Lin?”

“I’m sorry Su and I give you such a hard time…about how you’re never home…”

“Don’t you worry about that. I love my job, but you’re still my kids,” Toph replied.

There was a long pause.

“But maybe you could tell me about all of your books a little more often, hm? I don’t get to enjoy those anyway.”

“Sure. I’m not surprised you want to know about the serial killers more than sculpting and watertribe paint-mixing.”

“What would I do with any of that?”

Lin gripped the stirring wheel tighter. “Well, it’s actually pretty interesting.”

“If you want to talk about water tribe anything, you’re better off talking to Katara.”

“And what if I told you about the Beifongs?”

“Well, there’s nothing you can tell me that I don’t already know about those.”

Lin was suddenly determined to prove her wrong. “Did you know, that the Beifong boar was something one of our oldest ancestors dreamed about and that they made different designs of it, finally settling on the one we use today? I saw a full page with the different versions.”

Toph laughed, “Why would they even put that in a book? Who cares what it might have looked like?”

Lin frowned. “Because it shows the different intentions. There is a theory that its size shows the wealth of our family and for example if it were a thinner animal, it would have different connotations. Besides, have you never thought about how the boar has been our symbol for centuries and how no one ever thought to change it? I'm sure **someone** had to have thought it was ugly along the way...”

“You don’t actually think that’s important, right? It’s just a stupid symbol.”

Lin scoffed. Of course her mother didn’t get it. “It’s **our** symbol. How can you not wonder about these things?”

“Because it’s boring nonsense.”

“Maybe you really have to **see** art to appreciate it,” Lin grumbled.

“Yeah, don’t really have a choice with that one,” Toph chuckled.

“Right,” Lin agreed, much more serious, “You’d have to be willing to consider other perspectives than your own for that.”

Toph sighed. “You’re making it really hard to have a conversation with you, Lin. You take everything so seriously.”

Lin was fuming by the time they rolled into the driveway. She knew any reply would only lead to an argument, so she kept her thoughts to herself.

Yuko didn’t think it was hard to have a conversation with her. Yuko didn’t care if Lin talked about something she didn’t understand. If Lin was excited, she listened and tried to understand why – Yuko had the magical ability to always find something she could take away from their conversations, so why couldn’t her mother do it? Lin wanted to tell her mother how Yuko thought it was refreshing that Lin was capable of having serious conversations about things that most people didn’t care about.

She missed her – she missed Yuko so much…

Once Lin stood alone in her room, she noticed, just how much. The evening had started out so well and it had been a nice distraction. She made a note not to talk to her mother about art again. It really was a waste of time.

Before going to bed, she walked over to her shelf, taking out the portfolio, letting her thumb trace over the drawings of Yuko. After a while Lin had found out that looking at them right before going to bed, she would often dream of Yuko and tonight Lin could need her warm presence.  
.

.

./.

.

.

The next week, Lin talked to Yuko before the art exam. She was worried about not having studied enough. Yuko had told the class that the theoretical part would be more difficult that year, but it wasn’t the part Lin worried about.

“I haven’t been practicing much in the past months,” Lin admitted and Yuko smiled at her.

“That’s normal, last year is very busy. I’m sure you’ll do fine, your technique is still very good.”

Lin hummed. “I miss it a little.” She said it because saying ‘I miss you’ would not be wise and probably make everything weird.

“Drawing?” – Lin nodded – “You can always come here and work on something,” Yuko suggested while signing off on some papers.

Lin perked up, “Really? You mean outside of lessons?”

“Yeah. You’re old enough not to need supervision, right?”

“Yeah,” Lin answered – slightly disappointed at the ‘without supervision’ part.

“I think it will be fine if you spend some of your breaks in here.”

So she did. Lin started coming back to the art room. She chose Thursdays because they fit best with her schedule and because she found out that Yuko always had an hour or two off on Thursdays that she spent working on her own art in the room.

The additional art sessions brought her energy and made her weeks a lot more endurable. It also gave her some time to just think. While a year ago she had imagined studying art or focus solely on art history, since she did enjoy the theoretical parts as much as the practical one, she was sure now which career path interested her more.

She’d thought about the officer’s words at the gala and the incredible stories she’d told Lin. After separating her feelings about her mother from the equation – because Lin did **not** want her mother to influence that choice either, this was hers alone – she had her mind made up quite quickly.

She wanted to join the Force. She thought it was a way to use both her reputation and legacy to help people who needed it and didn’t live with the same privileges as her. Paired with her interest in anything related to the profession, she thought she would be fine.

The drawing and occasional sculpting was still something she enjoyed.

Mostly she was glad to be talking to Yuko again. Things started to seem better. Knowing what to do with herself gave her anxious mind something to hold on to. When she got handed a bad grade – bad in her opinion – she reminded herself that it wouldn’t change anything about her future, since this particular subject wasn’t that important when it came to the examination to join the Force. Decision gave her freedom and it gave her security.

Things changed however, when people started asking her what she saw herself doing after school. First family, then friends, then some teachers as well. She always told them, proudly so, that she would become a police officer. However, people seemed to make a very unwelcomed connection. That she simply wanted to do it because it was her mother’s job.

Everyone seemed to know better than her and knew that Lin didn’t **really** want to be on the Force, she simply did whatever her mother did in order to impress her. Some said, she should think twice about it. Others told her that her mother was doing a bad enough job as it was and that Lin shouldn’t waste her time with such a profession.

And absolutely everyone told her that ‘as a Beifong’ all the doors were open to her and yet she chose the most predictable one. It made her furious. Some teachers told her she was wasting some incredible potential. Lin didn’t feel like that. She simply wanted to help people and this was going to be her way. Maybe she would become chief, too, one day and take part in enforcing helpful laws that would profit those who usually got overlooked.

On bad days, people’s doubts resurfaced and at one point Lin wondered, that if everyone kept telling her how bad of an idea it was, maybe they were right. She was wasting the opportunity of a legacy she’d never wanted. This feeling of taking her life for granted settled in her chest and no amount of meditation seemed to get rid of it.

When she came to her mother with these doubts in what she later called a moment of weakness and just wanted Toph to tell her, that she **wanted** Lin to come to the Force, because then she could stop thinking about it. Her mother picked the recruits, if she told her Lin would be a good candidate, she couldn’t care less about what the others said. Her mother, however, deflected the question. She told her, she should do whatever she wanted and tell the others to mind their own business. Lin asked her to keep training with her, so she did. Lin started avoiding the topic of profession and future anytime it came up.

It was then that she noticed just how many people brought it up and how little anyone talked about anything else. It was always career this, job that, Lin, don’t do it, Lin, maybe think about it for a little longer, maybe take a break after school, why would you want to do such a gruesome job, Lin, you won’t make much money, Lin, maybe use your potential for something less dangerous, what will you do when you have children, you can’t go around catching criminals then.

She was tired of hearing it everywhere she went. She’d been talking to Tenzin a lot and she had hoped he would understand, but even he had a hard time understanding why the others could get under her skin like they did. He thought she was tough and confident and that she shouldn’t listen to the others. 

She appreciated his honesty and told him as much, but she felt that maybe she shouldn’t bring it up again. No one told him not to become a master airbender. No one doubted it when Tenzin said he wanted to become a diplomat for the Airnation. Everyone thought it was amazing and great – just like her, but she couldn’t help but be a little envious of his experience. She wondered if it was because he wasn’t a woman, or simply because all the doubting was reserved for Lin. 

That was until she remembered that at least she didn’t have the weight of an entire culture resting on her shoulders. Her situation wasn’t as bad as Tenzin’s, she told herself, so she shouldn’t wine about that feeling of not being cut out for the one thing she wanted to do. At night, when she laid awake, worrying and not being able to sleep, she told herself she was simply being childish for caring so much that people saw her as her own person and not just another Beifong. Did she really want to be like her in some twisted way? No, she decided, she didn’t – she wanted to be nothing like her, she’d simply been reading to many psychology books.

Or maybe her mother was the problem. Would people care if she were just another person? If her last name were Kimura instead of Beifong. If her family didn’t have a family symbol. Who would she be? Would they care if she wanted to be an officer then? She was sure they wouldn’t care one bit. There it was again. How could it just be in her way all the time? This stupid, stupid name and all that came with it.

Through experience, she learned that not thinking about something made everything easier, because if she didn’t think about it, she couldn’t beat herself up about it. In the back of her mind she heard Katara telling her that ‘bottling things up never ends well’ but Lin thought that if it made her feel this much better, it couldn’t be all that bad.  
.

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./.

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.  
After a particularly stressful week, with three exams, coming to class late, accidentally having done the wrong exercises as homework and not being able to follow her math class, Lin was extremely on edge and couldn’t wait for Friday to be over.

However, just when she thought that in the last two hours the week couldn’t possibly get any worse, she dropped half her lunch when she bumped into someone. They grumbled something about ‘look where you’re going’ and she sputtered an apology, even if it was their fault as much as hers. The incident did little for her sour mood.

When she sat down with her friends, they started talking about how Yui’s boyfriend was older than her by about four years and how everyone thought it was a little off and how it shouldn’t be like that. She ignored that voice in her head telling her all of her friends would be disgusted if they knew about all the ways she secretly thought about Yuko.

“He’s training to be a healer right now,” Yui told them and suddenly everyone was back on board.

“Oh, that’s so cool though, does he have his own place already?”

“Yeah, he does,” Yui told them proudly, “Sometimes I sleep over. Koji, don’t even start, we don’t sleep over like **that** ”

“Do you want to be a healer, too?” Ria changed topics, “You’d be such a power-couple together!”

Yui shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know, I might. When he tells me about his training it sounds interesting enough.”

Lin felt herself zoning out. Not this again. She dug through her bland rice and tried not to think too much about how that one question in the last exam could have meant something entirely different if she had looked at it from another perspective. That meant her answer had gone in the wrong direction and she had at least five points missing, because-

“How about you, Lin?”

“Hm?”

“You still wanna be your mom?” Koji joked. The others laughed. Lin didn’t.

“I still want to be a police officer, yes,” she hissed.

“You just wanna look hot in that uniform, Beifong,” Yui teased with a wink, “I bet that gets all the guys.”

That was it. Lin had enough. She shot up, grabbed her backpack and left them to sit in their confusion.

“Lin,” Yui said, “Come on, you know we’re just joking.”

Lin didn’t react. The last thing she caught, while leaving the cafeteria was Koji asking, “What’s up with her today? We joke with each other all the time.”

She didn’t want to know what the others would answer. She thought it would do them good to think how it was their stupid comments that had her angry and trying hard to push some tears back to where they should stay. She was **not** going to cry at school.

No, no, no.

But it was already too late, she felt a single tear escape. She ran through the hallways and her feet carried her to the only room she felt she could be alone in before the lunch hour would end and she had to go to her final class. When she arrived at the art room however, it was locked.

“Of course it’s fucking locked,” she cursed, “I fucking hate this week.”

She could feel more tears blurring her view and she angrily wiped them away with her sleeve.

“Lin?”

She froze and turned away from the voice she usually wanted to run towards.

“Hey, it **is** you. What are you doing here? I thought you came here on Thursdays,” Yuko said as she walked towards the room at the end of the hallway.

When Lin didn’t answer, Yuko grew suspicious.

“Lin?”

She thought if she walked fast enough and didn’t look at her, it would be fine. She could apologize about it the next week and everything would be fine. However, when she tried to turn and bolt past her, Yuko stretched out her arm in time, effectively cutting off Lin’s flight as the girl stopped dead in her tracks.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Her voice was so warm and concerned.

Lin wiped her sleeve over her face again. “It’s nothing, I have to go.” It was more pleading than telling, but she still stood there. Yuko sighed. She knew Lin didn’t react well to direct questions. She’d never seen her cry. She imagined the girl didn’t like someone who pried all too much, but she wouldn’t talk about anything if not asked. Tricky, but Yuko was sure, she would manage. It was Lin after all.

“Did you want to come inside? I was just about to tidy up a little and could use the company.”

Lin finally looked up at her. Yuko wore a small encouraging smile and it was such a familiar sight that it brought an amount of comfort Lin hadn’t expected. Maybe this crush wasn’t just bad and another way the universe was laughing at her, maybe it could be useful, too.

“Only if I’m not bothering you,” she said with a small voice that made her wonder how anyone could ever think she was confident – Yuko specifically.

“You’re never bothering me, Lin,” she said while unlocking the door, “Come in.”

The familiar smell of wax, clay and carton welcomed her and she closed the door behind her softly.

When Lin sat down, Yuko rummaged through a drawer, getting a few tissues for Lin and leaned against her desk next to the girl, looking down at her.

“Want to tell me what’s bothering you?”

“It’s nothing,” Lin cried, wiping her nose with the tissue.

“Well it’s obviously something,” Yuko pushed carefully.

“I-“ she hiccupped, “I feel so stupid.”

Yuko frowned that such a bright girl like Lin could ever feel stupid, but she knew self-doubt had nothing to do with how intelligent Lin was, or maybe everything. Yuko knew how hard everything was in the last year of school and how Lin pushed herself. “And who made you feel like that?” she asked.

Lin looked at her shortly, “No one,” she sobbed, turning away again, “I just feel so, so stupid.”

“Well, you didn’t come up with it on your own. You’re a smart girl,” Yuko tried again.

“Not stupid like that,” she replied, burying her face in her hands.

Lin thought how she was even more stupid for being so difficult right then. Yuko was only trying to be nice and she was making it hard for her. Yuko was probably rolling her eyes at her while she wasn’t looking. Maybe Yuko just pretended to like her, too. Maybe she just talked to her because she would feel guilty if she didn’t. It was her job after all.

“You can talk to me about it…sometimes it helps.”

Lin wanted to, Lin wanted to tell her everything. How no one cared about her, how everyone misunderstood her and how she cried more than she used to as a kid, but that the pain was never superficial because of some accidental fall but always because someone didn’t listen and how she couldn’t even trust her own feelings anymore, because they changed like the weather and nothing made sense.

Yuko watched as Lin wrapped her arms around herself and curled forward slightly. It made her just want to hug the kid. She seemed so distraught and not in the mood to talk about anything. Maybe Lin’s comfort came in physical affection.

Lin sobbed again and now Yuko really had to fight her morals. When she had started working at the school, she’d been instructed to be very careful and never touch a student. She thought the rule to be a good one, though she couldn’t believe they expected her not to console a student if they felt comfortable enough to come to her.

“Lin…” Yuko said and tried to bring as much warmth and comfort into it as she could. She just wanted the girl to feel better. Yuko meant ‘don’t be so hard on yourself’.

Lin heard ‘spit it out already’. Lin heard ‘I don’t have time for this’. 

Mid-sob, Lin choked out, “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Yuko asked, more worried at the tone.

“I’m not- I’m.” She buried her face in her hands again, hiding being more important than the self-soothing hug. “I hate who I am.”

“Oh sweetheart.” That was it. Yuko didn’t care for the rules, she needed Lin to stop talking about herself like this. “Do you need a hug?”

Lin looked at her to find out if she was making fun of her – because suddenly she trusted Yuko to be just like the rest of them.

But Yuko tilted her head, smiled at her and her face looked worried in that way only hers did and Lin wanted nothing more than to be hugged by her, so – not trusting her voice – she nodded.

Yuko motioned for Lin to stand and she did, slowly walking up to her until Yuko stretched her arms in her direction.

Lin looked down at her feet, but walked closer, not sure how to approach this. The only people who ever really hugged her were Katara, Tenzin and Kya (when she was in town) but Lin couldn’t remember the last time she’d cried in front of anyone.

Yuko took a little pity on the girl, so she simply drew her in close cradling Lin’s head against her chest, resting her chin on top.

“I’m sorry,” Lin apologized again, though at this point Yuko didn’t know what for. She decided not to comment. She doubted Lin could hear her through the sobs.

“It’s okay, Lin. Don’t worry.”

Lin started to lean more against Yuko as she shook in her arms. Yuko almost felt her own eyes watering because of it. This girl was under so much pressure and Yuko guessed her not to have the best coping mechanisms.

“You are sweet and smart and not at all stupid,” Yuko said as she rubbed circles on Lin’s upper back, which seemed to only make Lin cry harder, “And you are incredibly caring.”

“But no one believes that,” Lin sobbed into her.

“Of course they do,” Yuko reassured her.

Lin tried to stop crying, but the tears came running and she nearly clung to Yuko. How could anyone be as gentle as Yuko? So gentle and warm.

“I’m a Beifong,” she said through her tears.

Yuko smiled, “You are.”

There was a short silence and Lin seemed to relax a little, the initial tension of not wanting to cry, but desperately having to, loosening, “I don’t want to be a Beifong.”

“But that’s not all that you are,” Yuko reminded her, rubbing slower circles now, trying to calm her energy.

“I know,” Lin conceded, sniffling. Yuko’s hug was loose but simultaneously tight enough to comfort her just right and her lavender perfume – though faint due to Lin’s clogged up nose – was calming in its own right. Lin closed her eyes.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Yuko tried again, hoping that Lin would be able to open up more easily now.

“Did you know that you wanted to be a teacher all your life?” Lin asked when she had regained some semblance of composure.

“No, I went to school to be a lawyer before I changed careers,” she chuckled.

Lin heard it as much as she felt it, suddenly wondering if the prolonged hug was bothering Yuko. She couldn’t bring herself to step back, so she stayed.

“Do you already know what you want to do?” Yuko asked.

Lin hesitated. What did one more person matter? “I want to be a police officer,” she whispered and Yuko almost didn’t hear her.

“Oh, how lovely,” Yuko hummed. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”

Lin promptly fought a new wave of tears and couldn’t bring herself to answer.

“I think any profession where you help someone is a great idea.”

“You do?” Lin croaked.

“Yeah. Like I said, I think you are a very caring person and I believe we need more of those people in important positions.”

“You don’t know if I’ll ever be in an important position,” Lin muttered, blinking the last tears away.

“Do you want to, oh what’s it called again…rise in the ranks?” Yuko asked.

“I mean. Of course it would be nice. I-“ she felt herself getting shier by the minute as she became aware of the situation around her again, “I thought maybe I could be chief one day.”

Yuko smiled. The fact that Lin even imagined getting to that point, showed that some fiber in her believed that she could. “Well, that’s an important position if I’ve ever heard of one,” she said. There was another silence where Lin’s breathing evened out a little more.

“So what’s got you so upset about knowing what you want to do with your life?”

Lin huffed and because Yuko was still rubbing circles on her back, she dared to lean into her embrace a little more. Who knew if she’d ever get another chance to hug her? “Everyone says I’m just doing it because of Mom or that I’m wasting my potential for something else or that I just want to do it for the reputation or the uniform.”

Yuko clicked her tongue. People didn’t think much before talking.

“Is it-“ she halted. Yuko would be honest with her. It was just her. Lin allowed herself to verbalize the thought that had been on her mind for weeks now, “Is it really that hard to believe, that I care about people?”

Yuko felt her heart break for the girl and thanked several spirits that Lin felt comfortable enough to confide in her. She shouldn’t have to deal with such painful questions on her own. “Not at all, Lin.”

She said it with such conviction, that Lin’s first instinct was to believe her. “But why does no one- Why do only you believe it?”

Lin wondered if Yuko could feel the blush forming on her cheeks.

“I’m sure a lot of people believe in you, Lin. Some of them just don’t look at it from the same perspective as you do.”

Lin hummed and after sniffing her nose twice, she decided that she should probably give Yuko her space back and withdrew from the hug, no matter how much she wanted to stay.

“Thank you,” Lin muttered, taking another tissue to dry her eyes, “I’m sorry for crying on your shirt.”

Yuko waved her off. “Listen,” she started and Lin looked at her directly, “You’ll make a great officer and if you work hard, like you always do, I’m sure you’ll make an even better chief one day.”

If there had been any tears left, Lin was sure she would have cried again. Somehow Yuko managed to be louder than all her doubts and she was sure that if they resurfaced, she could remember how Yuko had looked at her in this very moment and how she thought Lin was smart, sweet and caring and she could maybe believe it, too.

Then one last thought crossed her traitorous mind. “What if everyone is right and it’s not for me?”

Yuko tilted her head to the side and said, “You told me you wanted to study art history last year.”

Suddenly Lin felt guilty. Had she made Yuko proud by saying that? Was she disappointed in her now? Lin didn’t have enough time to follow that train of thought, because when Yuko spoke her voice sounded just as caring as before, no hint of bitterness.

“So if your career as a police officer isn’t what you hope for it to be, then I will call all the professors I know and get you an interview to be accepted at the best art university in Caldera city.”

“You would do that for me?” Lin asked, eyes widening. She felt the urge to lunge forward into another hug.

“I promise.”

“Thank you,” Lin sniffled again.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

Lin felt a weight lifted off her shoulders. Everything would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Disclaimer that everything about the boar up there was completely made up, but I needed Lin to geek out for a second, so uhm.......that's made up. )


	4. See the snapshots of my life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bi!Lin. That's it. That's the chapter.

The rest of the school year went by rather quickly. One week, Yuko came up to Lin, telling her, that she’d spoken to Lee a while back and that he’d had a proposition.

“Lee was so pleased with your art, he told me he’d take something of yours anytime and since his yearly exhibition is coming up, he wondered if you’d like to give him something to show.”

“But I haven’t done anything other than the obligatory projects.”

“Then make something. You’ve got two months, I’m sure you can create something beautiful,” Yuko encouraged her. “I told him you might have too much to do with all the exams, so you have a way out if you don’t have time to create anything, but I didn’t want to decide for you.”

Lin mulled over it for a moment and then had an idea. Besides, the art showing was one of her dearest memories with Yuko, so why not create another one? Her face fell momentarily when she noticed that the amount of memories, she could make with her were very limited now.

“Sure, I’d love to.”

“Lovely,” Yuko exclaimed, “I’ll give you Lee’s contact information, so you can organize that with him. I won’t be able to do it, because I’m quite busy myself right now.”

Lin smiled. This meant, Yuko wouldn’t see her art beforehand. She could surprise her and watch her react to it. “Sure,” she said, “I’ll give him a call once I’m done, but I do have to start first.”

They shared a chuckle. “I’m looking forward to it,” Yuko told her when she left.

The weeks flew by in no time. There were days where she cursed herself for agreeing to Yuko’s (or rather Lee’s) offer. It was those days, where she’d spend the night before working on the painting – she had chosen the almost unfamiliar medium in order to challenge herself and maybe even impress Yuko a little. One time she had almost fallen asleep during a history class, because her teacher’s voice had been so amazingly monotonous and the crook of Lin’s elbow had suddenly turned into the most comfortable pillow.

When she showed the painting to Tenzin, because he had asked why she had been canceling on him so often, he had looked at the piece of art and called it ‘amazing’. She’d told him that it wasn’t even halfway done, but he didn’t care. He’d stood in front of the canvas and said that he didn’t think he’d be able to work this detailed. She’d sighed and told him that it was a pain in the ass and how she was a little anxious about not getting it finished in time.

“There’s just so much left to do and I’ve only got three more weeks,” she sighed, “If I just had a little more time…But I also have to buy groceries and cook and cramp all the stuff for school in my head and I can’t do it all at once.”

Tenzin had been quiet, thinking for a few minutes. “I could help you,” he suggested.

“How?”

“I could…I could read the chapters you have to study and you could draw while I do it.”

“Paint.”

“Paint, while I do it,” he corrected himself.

“But I don’t want you to make your way into the city all the time, I know that takes forever and I know you have other stuff to do…doesn’t your dad want to expand your spiritual training?”

“Yeah,” Tenzin sighed, “But I would be helping you. I don’t mind flying out here…I’m faster than the ferry anyways.”

Lin didn’t answer right away. He added, “Besides, I miss spending time with you.”

Lin smiled. He was so supportive of her. “We **do** have to study for the same history exam,” she pondered, “And therefore you would gain something from it, too…maybe we can discuss the topics together…I always learn so much faster that way.”

“Sure. I can also give you my flash cards when I’m done with them, then you don’t have to make your own…that would safe you some time, right?”

“Yeah.”

Tenzin smiled widely at her and she noticed just how glad she was to have him.

“Thanks airhead.”

“Of course,” he said and promptly looked away.

Lin doesn’t notice, already too busy rummaging through her schoolbooks to hand him the right one.

.

.

./.

.

.

On the evening of the exhibition, Lin wore a short-sleeved dark green blouse and a black blazer on top with her dress pants. This time Yuko was already there, so Lin greeted Lee and his husband before she walked over to her.

Yuko was wearing a flowy red blouse and dark linen pants. When she turned to her side, Lin noted the almost insane number of golden bracelets around her wrist.

“Looks like I’m the one that’s late this time,” she smiled when Yuko saw her approaching. “I couldn’t find a parking spot,” Lin said.

“You’re fine, there’s not that many people here yet.”

Yuko’s hair was put into some braided updo and Lin thought it looked incredibly beautiful.

“Are you going to show me which one is yours? I thought you’d draw or sculpt something, but these drawings don’t look like yours and those are Lee’s,” she argued, pointing at some abstract metal sculptures.

“It’s that one,” Lin beamed, pointing at her painting.

“A painting!”

Lin thought that Yuko’s excitement for it was at least equally as rewarding as the fact that it hung in a gallery.

They walked over to stand in front of it.

“Oh, such an elegant bird,” Yuko commented instantly.

It was a square canvas, 40 by 40 inches and all oil paint. There was a flying crane, wings outstretched, rising to the top. It was black and grey. She tried making it as realistic as possible. Su said she’d almost mistaken it for a photograph (the only time Su had complimented one of her pieces). There was golden detailing on the outer rim of each wing feather. The background consisted of a different purple and violet tones, lighter around the bird and darker as the gradient neared the edges of the painting.

“Oh, Lin,” Yuko said, her eyes wide, “This is amazing. Oh, and the detailing on the wings is magnificent.” She turned to Lin and slightly swatted her arm, the bracelets clacking together and creating a sound that was almost musical, “I knew you’d make something beautiful, but this is…” she trailed off.

Lin thought that all the work, the cramping hands and her mother complaining about the smell of paint and turpentine in their home (even though Tenzin bent the air in and out of her room, the scent remained omnipresent)…It had all been worth it because Yuko liked it – loved it.

As the evening wore on, a woman walked over to Lin.

“Excuse me,” she said. Her voice was unpleasantly high, and somehow matched her thin face perfectly. “Are you Lin?”

“Yes,” she said, bowing slightly when the woman did.

“You made that gorgeous painting, Lee told me.”

She nodded when the woman motioned at her painting. “I did.”

“I was wondering how much it costs.”

“It’s not for sale,” Lin told her with a smile, “but I really appreciate the interest. It’s quite the compliment.”

The woman’s smile faded. “Oh,” she said disappointedly, “Are you sure? I’m certain we could agree on a good price!”

“I’m sure we could, but it’s not for sale,” she repeated politely.

“Too bad,” the woman sighed. “It would have looked lovely in my living room.” When Lin didn’t take the emotional bait, she said, “Have a nice evening”. Then she left.

“You too,” Lin replied.

After the exhibition, Yuko and Lin stayed around to tidy up a bit. “Could I ask you a favor, Lin?”

She perked up. “Sure.” She thanked her mouth for turning the ‘Anything’, her mind had come up with into a less weird answer. She really had gotten better at this over the past year…

“Would you maybe drive me back to the school? I still have my Sato mobile there and if it’s not too much trouble-“

“Of course,” Lin smiled, happy to finally do something for her.

They cleaned in a comfortable silence, much like the one when they worked together.

At some point Lee asked Yuko to look over some contract he’d set up. When Lin glanced up, she saw Yuko taking out a pair of glasses. The frames were bright red and Lin wondered why Yuko had never worn them at school.

“I didn’t know you had glasses,” Lin muttered when Yuko came over to clean one of the tables full of forgotten wine glasses.

“Oh, I’ve only had them for a few weeks,” she chuckled in response, taking them off. Lin’s gaze followed her hands until she understood that Yuko was about to hang them on the neck of her blouse. After thinking about how dangerous it was for the glasses, Lin noticed how dangerous it was for her heartrate, so she quickly averted her gaze.

“I think they fit your personality well.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet of you. Maybe you’re gonna need some, too, when you’re older,” she added with a wink.

Lee helped Lin with taking down the painting so she could take it home. While she wrapped it in paper, Lee offered to drive Yuko home.

Yuko saw how the girl’s face fell at her friend’s offer. “Oh, thank you, I already asked Lin and I think someone is getting anxious for you to get home,” she said with a nod in the direction of Lee’s husband.

He had been complaining about how Lee ‘took forever to get done’ and how ‘they could tidy the rest in the morning’.

“I think you might be right,” Lee sighed, rubbing his neck, “So, uhm, thanks for coming and helping. Oh, and Lin, your painting was gorgeous, you should really think about selling your art, I’m serious. It’s not common for people to be this interested in new artists, you know.”

Yuko nodded, “He’s right. They always want to show how rich they are by purchasing the known artists.”

“Not all of them!” Lee interjected.

Yuko rolled her eyes, “No, but the ones who approached my Lin here, they are like that.”

 **My Lin**. 

“Lee…are you ready?”

Lin chuckled, “Maybe you should go.”

“He had a long day, he isn’t usually like this,” he grinned, “Anyway, it was lovely to have your painting here, oh, and good luck with exams and graduation, that’s coming around, right?”

“Yeah,” Lin said, glancing at Yuko with a forced smile, “That’s just around the corner now.”

“Lee! I’m serious, I’m tired.”

“And grouchy,” Lee muttered under his breath, causing both Yuko and Lin to repress a chuckle.

They said their goodbyes and left, painting in hand. Lin put it in the trunk.

When Lin got done pulling away form her parking spot, Yuko spoke up.

“Why didn’t you want to sell it?”

“The painting?”

“Yeah. You could have gotten back all the money you must have spent on the supplies. The woman seemed nice, too, and much more worthy of such a piece than that guy last year.”

“She was, but,” she gripped the wheel of the Sato mobile tighter, “It’s a present.”

“Oh,” Yuko said, grinning, “Is it for a special someone?”

Lin started blushing. “What?” she asked.

“A boyfriend maybe?” Yuko teased in **that** tone and after a minimal pause added, “Or a girlfriend?”

Lin thought that if they weren’t standing at a stop sign, she might have crashed them into the next building.

After Lin didn’t answer for a while, Yuko backtracked calmly. “You don’t have to tell me, Lin.”

“Why did you ask if it’s for a- uhm, for a girlfriend?” she muttered, hearing her pulse thudding in her ears.

“Well, I don’t know what your sexual orientation is. I didn’t just want to assume,” Yuko said casually, though she was internally cursing herself for bringing it up in the first place. She remembered hating it when adults asked her if she was in a relationship, but now it was too late. “People have preferences,” she said when Lin didn’t talk and Yuko got incredibly nervous for having overstepped.

“I’m not...like Lee,” Lin said carefully.

“I just didn’t want to assume. There was no insinuation behind my question,” Yuko smiled as Lin stumbled to shift gears again, “We don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want to. I apologize if I overstepped a boundary.”

Yuko was so sincere, Lin thought. She was always so sincere. She also didn’t seem to have a problem with this, so maybe Lin should tell her. She wanted to. It felt like a little lie to pretend all the time, but she didn’t want Yuko to think she had a crush on her – she obviously had, but Yuko didn’t have to know. She remembered Kya once telling her how anytime she told a girl about it, they automatically thought she wanted to be with them.

There was a very awkward silence and Lin thought she might sweat through her blazer before she whispered into the air between them, “Maybe I’m a little bit like Lee.”

Yuko almost didn’t hear her. “Oh,” she said, trying to hide her excitement for being right, “So are you questioning whether you like girls?”

“No, I mean, uhm, no questions,” she stuttered, focusing on the street, “Mh, no questions.”

Yuko hummed.

Another silence. Lin thought Yuko must be incredibly uncomfortable now. How could Lin be this stupid and just tell her about this? She hadn’t even spent enough time thinking about it herself.

Lin cleared her throat, “But I think it’s probably not even real,” she muttered.

“Why would you think that?” she inquired.

Lin sighed. This was the first time she didn’t like that she couldn’t just look at Yuko while saying some things, just to see her facial features while reacting. She’d read many books on different tells and it gave her a sense of security she didn’t have before. She tried to push through. If she were to talk about this with anyone, it would be Yuko. Yuko was friends with Lee. She couldn’t have a problem with it, right?

“I- I mean, I do like men, I mean boys,” she cringed, “not child-boys, just boys, maybe not **just** boys. I-”

“I understand,” Yuko decided to put Lin out of her misery, “So, do you like both?”

Lin swallowed, “I- no. I mean, that’s not possible. Either you’re, uhm, like Lee or not,” she cleared her throat again and asked herself when it had become this dry, “I just. I don’t know which one I am, yet. But probably not like Lee.”

Yuko hummed in acknowledgement. “You know, there are people who like both and that’s just as normal.”

Lin glanced over at her, but quickly fixed her gaze forward again. “There are?”

Yuko hummed. She recognized the struggle. She simply wanted that sweet girl to skip all the confusion. She reminded herself that it was the process of someone coming to terms with parts of their identity. “Yes, there are,” she smiled and when Lin relaxed a little, she added, “I’m one of those people.”

Lin whipped her head to the side, “You?”

Yuko yelped, gripping the stirring wheel when they swerved slightly and Lin’s head turned back to focus on the street.

“I’m sorry,” Lin exploded soon after, “that was a very insensitive reaction. I’m just. I – I didn’t know.”

Lin was cursing herself internally. Of course, she didn’t know. It was such a private thing and not everyone liked to be public with things like these.

“Don’t worry about it,” Yuko chuckled, “I know how you meant it.”

Yuko saw Lin’s knuckles turning white as she tightened her death grip around the stirring wheel.

“Does that make you uncomfortable?” Yuko asked, suddenly concerned about it.

“No, of course not,” Lin answered, “Can I- can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” She was relieved that it didn’t make her uncomfortable.

“Did you always know that you were…you know…one of those people?”

Yuko noticed they were nearing the street of the school, but thought she’d sit in the Sato mobile with Lin until she’d be kicked out if she could just give her some security and a positive introduction to all of this. The kid seemed to trust her enough and she hoped to give her some perspective.

“Well, I always kind of knew I didn’t just like boys, but like you, for a long time I just thought it wasn’t possible to be attracted to more than one gender – you have to remember, that things were also a little different when I was your age. Let’s see,” she pondered, “I don’t really have a very inspiring story, like some of my friends. I just,” she paused for a chuckle, “I kissed a boy and it felt right and sometime later, long after I’d left school, I kissed a girl and it felt just as right.”

Lin chuckled, “So you’re telling me to just kiss people?” 

Yuko laughed, light and clear. Lin knew that she liked girls – or women, but maybe it was just this woman. Lin could never tell her about the crush, because she was sure it would disgust Yuko. 

She’d tried putting herself in Yuko’s shoes. The thought of a forty-six-year-old being attracted to her, someone Yuko saw as a child (she didn’t like it, but it was how Yuko saw her), made her cringe. It was wrong and she knew it would never lead anywhere, more importantly, if she was being honest with herself, she didn’t want it to. Yet, it was a different story to tell her heart that it didn’t have to speed up as soon as Yuko smiled or to tell her body that it didn’t have to burn and tingle, every time Yuko put her hand on Lin’s shoulder.

Neither was it easy to ignore all those dreams where she lay cuddled up on a couch with Yuko or where they went on long walks holding hands and sometimes those walks ended with a kiss – a real one. Sometimes Lin woke up because her heart was beating too fast because of it and sometimes, she woke up feeling even more lonely than she had felt, when she’d fallen asleep with the pillow, she’d hug tightly to her body each night. In the first months, she’d felt very guilty about the dreams, but then along the way, she’d tried not to put too much meaning into it. It would be over once she graduated, she told herself when it got bad. Soon this weird sadness would disappear and only the happy memories would remain.

She simply had to live with it and use the crush to her advantage: use it to load positive energy into her system before an exam by stopping by the art room, use it to enhance her art skills and to have interesting conversations. She recognized how important Yuko was to her in more than just the way of discovering how attraction wasn’t something she solely experienced towards the occasional boy. Yuko seemed to understand her on a level she hadn’t found someone else to understand her. And now she had told her about this.

“Do you think,” Lin swallowed, “Do you think I’m…like you?”

Yuko shook her head, “I can’t know that. No one but you can.”

They had arrived in the school’s parking lot. She didn’t want to part yet.

“Lin,” Yuko said when the girl had killed the engine.

She turned to look at her with a hesitant smile.

“Just know, that it’s completely normal to-“ she paused, understanding Lin wanted to avoid certain terms and labels, “to be like me,” she said, “and to question these things. No one but you is allowed to tell you who to like. Girls, boys, both, neither. There are also people who identify as neither male nor female.”

“There are?” Lin’s eyes widened again.

“Yes,” Yuko nodded with that gentle expression she wore so well, “You’re going to meet a lot of people along the way and as long as you’re respectful and open to new experiences and concepts, you will be just fine. And you don’t even have to define yourself with a certain word if you don’t like that.”

Lin absorbed the words as though her life depended on it – she felt like it might.

“Just make sure you follow your intuition and don’t let anyone make you do anything you’re not comfortable with. And you can ask me about it any time you like, alright? If you ever have any questions.”

Lin nodded, having forgotten about the fear she had felt mere minutes ago. Then she realized, “I’ll graduate soon.”

“But I’ll still be at school and you can always come by. You know where to find me.”

Lin smiled, unbuckling her seatbelt. “Thank you.”

Yuko saw it as a sign to do the same. “Of course. Now, drive home safe and thank you for bringing me here.”

With that she opened the door and got out into the cold night.

“Wait,” Lin said when Yuko was about to walk to her Sato mobile. Lin got out of the vehicle, opened her trunk and waited for Yuko to stand next to her.

“What is it?”

“It’s for you,” Lin replied, looking at the painting, “I didn’t want to sell it, because I made it for you.”

“Lin,” Yuko looked at her in shock, “I can’t accept that.”

“Why not?” Lin looked hurt.

“Lin, you spent two months on it. That painting is worth much more than I would be able to pay or would be allowed to pay.”

“It’s a present,” Lin pressed, “It doesn’t cost anything.”

Yuko looked at her, testing. Was this an impulsive reaction to having shared something so private?

“It’s supposed to be a ‘thank you’. Can you not accept a ‘thank you’?”

Yuko heard how important it was to Lin and she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t imagined the painting in her kitchen, the second she’d seen it.

“Are you really sure? I don’t want you to regret it.”

“Do you regret being nice to me and doing all these things to help me?” Lin asked, very surprised by her boldness, but hey, she’d just basically shared her most private thoughts with Yuko.

“Of course not, Lin. I just want you to be sure.”

“I am,” she said, crossing her arms like her mother did when she made a point, “Take it.”

Yuko raised a brow at the newfound confidence, but Lin didn’t budge.

“Please,” she said. She just wanted Yuko to have something to remember her by. “I made it with the intention of giving it to you.”

“You did, hm?” Yuko glanced back at the painting. Lin knew she had won.

“I did,” Lin said with a tone that was so smug, Yuko thought it should be illegal.

“Oh, alright, you can quit your smirking now,” she chuckled, “Can I at least thank you with a hug?”

Lin nodded and this time didn’t hesitate before walking forward and letting herself be wrapped up in those arms she quietly dreamed about. She felt the bracelets dig into her back slightly.

“It is a really beautiful painting, Lin,” she said and after quick moment of consideration, Yuko pressed a short kiss to the top of her head, “Thank you.”

Lin smiled. “You’re welcome.” She hesitated for a moment longer, “Thank you for…for being you.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” she said, rocking her slightly left to right.

The hug ended shortly after, they said their goodbyes and Yuko walked off, to make her way home.

“I won’t tell anyone,” Lin said loudly across the parking lot, “About…you know.”

Yuko just smiled and tilted her head in acknowledgement.  
.

.

./.

.

.

When the last week of school came around and their graduation was a few days away, Tenzin asked her to help him with the art project he had procrastinated until the last possible moment. The teacher had told him that he wouldn’t receive the diploma if he didn’t send in his project.

“I have to walk around school and take nice pictures and I don’t know how to make it not look boring, because everyone else already took all the good ideas and you’re the best student in your art class!”

“Of course I’ll help you,” Lin smiled after he was done rambling, “Wanna get some supplies from the art room? Maybe a theme would be cool.”

They walked down to the basement, but before Tenzin could knock on the art room’s door, Lin grabbed a hold of his wrist and asked him, “Can you do something for me?”

Tenzin was suddenly very focused. Had Lin’s hands always been this strong? He nodded slowly. He would do pretty much anything for her. “Sure.”

“When we go inside, can you take a picture of Yuko and me?”

Tenzin still found it weird how Lin was on a first name basis with her teacher. He only knew he wouldn’t be able to do it.

“Why?”

Lin swallowed, fighting her blush, “Because I won’t see her again after school and I want a picture with her.”

“Uhm, okay,” Tenzin raised a brow, “Why don’t you just ask her yourself?”

“I don’t want it to be weird,” she grumbled.

“And me, who spoke to her like once after accidentally disturbing her class, asking if I can take a picture of you and her is not weird?”

“Tenzin,” Lin said more intently, “Please, do it. For me.”

Tenzin sighed. He could see how much it meant to Lin. “Okay.”

“You’re the best!” Lin beamed at him.

He rolled his eyes.

“Seriously, Tenzin,” she smiled softly and he thought he’d ask a thousand teachers if they wanted a picture with Lin.

Then he knocked and Yuko opened the door.

“Hey,” she smiled at them, “How can I help you?”

“I have to take pictures for a project,” Tenzin said. “We were looking for some props.”

Yuko waved for them to come inside and walked to her desk, while Tenzin rummaged through the supplies, trying to find something to use. Lin ended up recommending a bunch of red feathers. He could bend them into different formations for the connecting element in each photo. Lin really did have the best ideas.

At some point she kicked her foot against his and glanced over at Yuko who was still bent over some papers. Lin smiled when she saw the red glasses lying on the table.

“How am I supposed to ask?” Tenzin hissed quietly.

“I don’t know, but hurry,” she whispered back, “She’s on her break soon.”

“How would you know?”

“Just ask her already.”

“Fine,” he sighed. “Uhm- Miss?”

Lin cringed and Yuko looked up at them. “Yes?”

“Could I maybe take a picture of you and Lin to see if the settings on the camera are correct?”

Lin wanted to run. No, false, she wanted death. That was the worst lie ever and Yuko would hate her and think she was creepy. Why would she have asked Tenzin? He knew nothing about subtlety. Oh, she was so stupid.

Yuko tilted her head to the side and Lin looked anywhere but in her direction.

“Sure,” she said, “Come here.”

Lin turned to look at her, wishing she could contain her blush.

When she walked over, Tenzin set up his camera and Yuko wrapped her arm around Lin’s shoulders, pulling her in against her side.

“Ready?” Tenzin asked, prompting Lin to force a smile in spite of her racing heart.

“Take a few to make sure you get a good one,” Yuko said after Tenzin had taken the first one.

Lin looked at Yuko.

**[click]**

Lin looked back, beaming at the camera.

**[click]**

Tenzin fussed with the camera.

Yuko leaned down whispering in Lin’s ear, “You could have just asked me yourself, you know.”

Lin thought she might faint and she probably looked like it. Then she heard Yuko laugh loud and clear. She couldn’t help but look up at her.

**[click]**

Weeks later, Tenzin brought the pictures to her – after graduation, after leaving school – she hugged him tighter than she ever had and repeated “thank you” over and over until he got worried about her and just held her for a while. She let him, because right then, she needed it more than she'd thought.


	5. I look back upon my time

_After leaving school, Lin thought about visiting a lot. Yuko had told her she could. She’d said, Lin could always talk to her, but anytime Lin drove by the school on her way to work, she always had a voice in the back of her head telling her she wouldn’t be welcomed there. It didn’t make much sense to her, but she listened to it anyways._

_The longer time wore on, the less time she had to even think about Yuko. She made friends at the academy – they shared many interests and she found some, with whom she felt comfortable talking about all sorts of usually uncomfortable things._

_Every now and again, she thought of Yuko, when something reminded her of her. The smell of lavender, some topics they had touched on while working together, but mostly anything to do with art. She always smiled, asking herself how Yuko was doing and if she thought about her, too; just every now and again…maybe when she looked at the painting._

_She had other things to think about. The physical training for the academy was extensive and the classes in between occupied most of her time. When she was done with her day, she spent her evenings revising and studying._

_After a particularly stressful day that had ended in an argument with her mother, she thought about seeing Yuko. She wondered if she still gave the best advice or if maybe she could just wrap Lin up in her arms, but by then it had been over a year and Lin wasn’t sure if Yuko even cared anymore._

_._

_._

_./._

_._

_._

_Five years later she met Yuko in a café. She looked no different but took a moment longer to recognize her old student._

_“Oh, Lin, look at you,” she said, noticing her uniform, when they had hugged, “How nice to see you!”_

_Lin smiled happily. “I joined the Force,” she said instantly, as if it were the most normal reaction to a greeting._

_“I can see that, how lovely!”_

_There was a small pause and then Yuko tilted her head – Lin’s heart warmed at how familiar the gesture still was. “Are you happy, sweetheart?”_

_Lin chuckled. At twenty-four, no one called her sweetheart – not even Tenzin, and if he did, she would probably glare at him. “I am,” she nodded. She let her gaze flick over Yuko’s face, then thought it was probably alright to ask, “Are you? Happy, I mean.”_

_Yuko sighed and Lin thought there was a look in her eyes Lin hadn’t seen there before, then she answered, “Oh, you know…it’s alright.”_

_Lin’s face fell and she wanted to know what caused that lovely woman any pain. She was ready to do anything in her power to make it stop. “Is-“ she didn’t know what to say, “Do you want to talk about…anything?”_

_Yuko simply rubbed her arm, “No, but I would like to hear about you a little.”_

_Lin smiled. She could do that. “Do you want to walk through the park? I don’t have to be home for a few more hours.”_

_“I’d love that,” Yuko said and that look in her eyes disappeared._

_Lin told her how the amount of knowledge she had assembled about metal because Yuko had asked her, had helped her in the Force. How she had even taught metal bending to a friend. She told Yuko how the endless sketching made her incredibly good at remembering the faces of people and how she instantly point out perps in crowds, because she could recognize their most prominent features. Yuko listened intently and marveled at how confident Lin seemed now and how much she had evolved._

_“That sounds lovely. What about non-police related stuff? Do you still draw or sculpt sometimes?”_

_Lin averted her gaze, “I don’t really have much time between work and-“_

_Yuko stopped walking to face Lin. “What are you nervous about now?” she teased, “It’s just me, sweetheart.”_

_Lin went serious for a moment, then let her eyes flicker over Yuko’s face. Should she tell her?_

_“What is it?” Yuko asked, suddenly, very concerned._

_“I figured it out,” Lin murmured and looked at her in a way that she hoped conveyed just what the glance should._

_It took Yuko a moment, but then she remembered. “You did?”_

_Lin hadn’t imagined it like this. She had thought about running into Yuko sometimes, how she would want to tell her about all the ways she understood herself now and how Yuko had helped her more than even Lin had thought back then. “Yeah, I did. I figured it out.”_

_Yuko rubbed a hand along Lin’s arm, trying to show she was listening to whatever she wanted to say._

_“I’m-“ Lin suddenly felt like that awkward teen again, “I’m like you.”_

_Yuko wasn’t necessarily surprised. “You are,” she smiled warmly, “I’m happy you figured it out. You seemed so-“_

_“Yeah, I know. It was,” she cleared her throat, “not very, well, I- it was confusing.”_

_“It is,” Yuko smiled, walking again. “So,” she chuckled, “Can I ask if you have a partner?”_

_“I do,” she beamed, “His name is Tenzin. You actually met him once. The one who took the pictures.”_

_“I **do** remember,” Yuko nodded, also remembering how the boy had flushed when Lin had smiled at him, “You look very happy.”_

_Lin smiled. She was._

_“Do you?” she mumbled, before she could think better of it._

_“Do I what?”_

_“Have a partner.”_

_Yuko sighed again, looping her arm around Lin’s and for a moment it felt like she needed it for support. Yuko said, “See, this is where it gets complicated.”_

_“I’m sorry, that it is,” Lin murmured._

_“Oh, don’t worry,” Yuko said, but Lin was very familiar with the way her voice had changed. She could hear the lump in her throat._

_“I didn’t mean to-“_

_“No, sweetheart, you’re fine. She’s just-“ Yuko took a deep breath, “It’s not ideal.”_

_Lin’s heart stung. She hoped the issue would resolve itself, but she knew that it just wasn't how things worked out most of the time. She only wished it would for Yuko._

_“I know, I’m just…me, but if you ever need anything,” Lin gestured around vaguely, “My friends say I'm a good listener. The others at the academy say, that I'm scary.”_

_Yuko laughed at that, light and clear. A single tear escaped her eye and Lin knew it wasn’t the laughter, but she decided to ignore it. At least she was laughing._

_“Maybe I’ll make use of having a scary Beifong at my beck and call,” she chuckled._

_._

_._

_./._

_._

_._

_The next time they met was all of fifteen years later._

_Things had changed._

_Toph Beifong was no longer chief of Rebublic City Police. Tenzin was no longer someone that made Lin think that everything was better with love – he was someone whose memory brought a bitterness to her she’d never wanted. And her sister? She hadn’t spoken to her in years._

_They met at a school reunion. Lin was there as security. She had gone outside, because she needed a break. The week had been tiring and the event brought up all sorts of memories with Tenzin and how they usually attended them together and that it was the first year where she faced her old school on her own. She stood outside, trying to compose herself and not let all her pain spill from her eyes, when she heard her name being called._

_“Lin.”_

_She turned at the slight rasp in the familiar voice. She hadn’t thought Yuko would be there. She hadn’t been at a single reunion over the past decade. Lin had always thought it strange because Yuko had been involved in her students’ lives like no other teacher. But this time she was there._

_“Yuko,” she said._

_“I saw you slipping away. Are you alright?”_

_It really had been a long time. It was silent between them, as they both waited to see if Lin would be honest or decide to brush it off._

_“No,” she sighed finally, “I’m not.”_

_“What happened?”_

_“Everything is so different,” Lin answered, hoping it would make sense, because she couldn’t say anything else when she was trying to prevent herself from going down that road. Too many times had she promised herself not to fall for that stupid self-pity, not to give in to that omnipresent lump in her throat. Crying left her with exhaustion and she didn’t have time for it. Not today, not at the reunion._

_“Do I need to be worried about you?”_

_Lin silently begged her to just be less…less like Yuko, because it brought all sort of comfort that she so desperately needed and it made it so hard to resist the urge to just let go and let herself break again until she didn’t have to anymore._

_“I don’t know,” Lin croaked, feeling tears sting in her eyes. Then, almost a whisper, “I just don’t know anymore.”_

_There was a long silence. It was Yuko who spoke first._

_“I know you’re not that sweet, sweet child anymore,” she said as she walked over (38 was hardly a child), “and I haven’t seen you in forever,” she added and Lin saw how her gaze lingered over the scars on her cheek – for a moment Lin wondered if Yuko had thought about her once or twice and if in her memory of an aging Lin Beifong, there were no scars, because this was the first time she saw them – “But I hate to see you like this,” Yuko finished._

_Lin felt the tears falling down her cheeks and collect under her chin before Yuko opened her mouth again._

_“Do you think my hugs still help?” she asked, tilting her head._

_‘They always will,’ Lin thought as she nodded and let Yuko wrap her arms around her._

_“Oh, sweetheart,” Yuko murmured against the side of Lin’s head, rubbing those same exact circles on her upper back as the now grown woman wept against her, like she had decades ago._

_Yuko still smelled of lavender and Lin still wished she didn’t have to cry on Yuko’s shirt. Some things never changed, she thought, only bringing new tears to her eyes. She wished she could travel back in time entirely, if only for a day._

_Minutes went by, but Yuko didn’t let go of her, not until she had calmed down and the tears had faded. When Lin pulled back, Yuko had quietly wiped a few of her own tears away. It really was hard to hold a crying Lin._

_They sat down on a bench for what felt like forever, seeking comfort in each other's company, waiting for Lin’s breathing to even out._

_“Why didn’t you show up for the other reunions?” Lin asked._

_Yuko let out a bitter laugh. “I have a very bad habit of avoiding my problems.”_

_“You?”_

_“Mh. Always have,” Yuko admitted, looking down at her folded hands, “I’m not perfect, sweetheart.”_

_When they walked back inside, people had moved on from boring conversations about who had made the most interesting experiences, to simply dancing to songs they'd listened to when they‘d been in their last year of school._

_“We’re dancing,” Yuko told her and led her to the side of the room, “Or maybe just swinging a little from left to right, because my knees aren’t doing so well tonight.”_

_Lin chuckled, determined to make the night a better one. “Almost forgot, you’re old now.”_

_“Hey,” Yuko reprimanded, swatting Lin’s arm, “You better go and find your manners.”_

_Lin laughed, “Maybe I left them at this snobby art event I went to last month.”_

_Yuko’s heart warmed at the statement. Art seemed to still be a part of Lin’s life and it made her happy like no other thing. Lin really had a passion for it and the knowledge that she had been the cause of it, made her feel purposeful._

_A few minutes later, when the song changed to something more modern, they decided to sit at one of the tables and watch the others dance._

_However, Lin had to walk over to Saikhan beforehand._

_“Hey, would you mind taking my spot? I know I said, I wouldn’t-“_

_“Told you, you’d fold,” Saikhan teased._

_She shook her head, “An old teacher of mine is here and I just want to talk to her for a while. I’ll tidy up the gym after our next sparring session, I promise.”_

_He agreed and Lin made to walk back across the room. As she approached the table, she saw someone else leaning against it, talking to Yuko. She had to squint her eyes for a moment, but soon recognized the woman to be another teacher of hers. Lin had only had her for one year – the final year. She had been the new math teacher. Always nice – if strict – and Lin remembered how well she had been able to explain things. What had her name been? Miss Chen._

_She was older now, too. Lin noticed the strands of grey in her long brown locks, even from where she was standing. Miss Chen was maybe fifteen years older than Lin. She wore a black dress that hugged her small frame. Lin almost walked closer to talk to the two of them but halted._

_Yuko’s face was scrunched up into a frown and her gaze was focused on the drink in her hand. The longer Lin looked at their interaction, the more she understood. When Lin had gotten herself a water the two of them seemed to be done talking._

_Miss Chen leaned down, wrapping a hand around Yuko’s forearm. Lin saw Yuko’s face turn to look at her and how her it softened almost instantly. Miss Chen said something to her, leaned forward and carefully pressed her lips to Yuko’s temple._

_The image of Yuko’s pained grimace combined with how she leaned into the lingering kiss burnt itself into Lin's mind. She suddenly had a pretty good idea of why Yuko had avoided the reunions. When Miss Chen walked away, Yuko rested her forehead on her propped-up hand._

_Lin waited for a few more moments, before approaching the table._

_Yuko schooled her expression into a neutral one as soon as she saw Lin and Lin briefly wondered how often Yuko had done it during her time at school._

_“You aren’t standing at your post,” Yuko noticed._

_“I told a friend to take over.”_

_Yuko smiled at her. “How nice of him.”_

_Lin sat down next to her, then took a sip of water from her glass. “Is that what you’ve been avoiding?”_

_Yuko followed Lin’s gaze to where Mei Chen stood. “You saw that?”_

_“It felt a little like I shouldn’t have,” Lin murmured. She took a moment to muster up some courage to ask the next question. “Did she hurt you?”_

_Yuko looked at her old student and thought of all the times Lin had confided in her. “I think I hurt her more,” she swallowed, thinking back on their time together. “We were so good for a while. It might sound sad, considering the circumstances now, but I don't think I was ever happier than with her.”_

_“What happened?” Lin asked._

_“I made the choice of letting something go that needed holding on to.” She swirled the drink in her hand. “It was a mistake and it’s been over for a long time now.“_

_“It didn’t look like it was for you,” Lin offered, smiling._

_“You’d think it would be, after eleven years without her.”_

_Lin heard it. She heard it so loudly that her heart broke for Yuko. “You love her.”_

_“It would still seem so, yes.”_

_Lin could hear the strong emotion in Yuko’s voice and she wondered if she had admitted it before._

_“It was quite stupid to ruin that.”_

_“I’m sorry,” Lin said - her own memories flashing in her head...memories with Tenzin...somehow not-so-endless memories - "Losing a love is never easy."_

_Yuko looked at her, the corner of her mouth raising into a smile, “No love is lost, Lin. It is simply given.”_

_It didn’t quite make sense to her, but all her life, Yuko had known things that Lin had later on discovered to be true, so why would this be any different. She wanted Yuko to be right and secretly wondered if the same was true for herself._

_They sat in silence for a while, watching the others around the room, until Yuko asked Lin to talk about something that would raise their spirits._

_Lin’s gaze had wandered to the dance floor again, mind replaying her dance with Yuko no longer than an hour ago. She decided this day was as good as any other and Yuko wanted to laugh. So why not?_

_“You know,” Lin smiled, “Back then I would have given everything to dance with you like that.”_

_Yuko chuckled, “I might have humored you, if you had asked.”_

_“No, I mean-“ Lin looked away, “forget it.”_

_Yuko bumped her shoulder against Lin’s. “I know, sweetheart.”_

_For a moment the music around them stopped and Lin whipped her head around. “What do you mean?”_

_“I mean, I know,” she smiled gently, “and I knew.”_

_A furious blush spread on Lin’s face and she knew that in spite of the dim lighting around them, it was quite visible. “You knew?” Lin was mortified. She’d thought she’d hidden it well enough and oh, how Yuko must have hated her, must have been disgusted by her._

_“Of course I knew,” Yuko replied warmly, “You blush very easily, Lin. And there were some other very strong hints.”_

_Lin wanted to run away. This was embarrassing to no end. “But- But you let me stay. You hugged me. And you always helped me. You took my painting,” Lin accused. Had it been out of pity?_

_Yuko raised a brow, “I did not **take** that beautiful painting, that was a ‘thank you’ present!”_

_“But why didn’t you- why didn’t it make you-“ Lin groaned._

_Yuko didn’t let her ramble on, because she knew that whatever Lin would say, it would only make her furious. She could imagine all the old self-doubt coming back up underneath that strong exterior._

_“I liked you. You were my favorite student – I can say that now, that I’m no longer teaching. I have never met someone, so interested in learning more about art in my class. That’s special to me. Well, maybe a few others, but they weren’t like you. You were this smart and caring girl and you were so eager to learn and just try everything I suggested.”_

_“But I had a crush on you,” Lin retorted. “That must have been so weird for you.”_

_“It wasn’t,” Yuko reassured her, “and you wouldn’t have opened up to me half as much if you hadn’t liked me.”_

_Lin wanted to protest, but she couldn’t find it within herself to disagree. Yuko was right. Yuko had done all this for her despite that crush, despite knowing about it. She had just always wanted to be there for her._

_“Thank you,” Lin said and in a rush of emotions, grabbed Yuko’s hands, squeezing them, “Thank you so much for being there.”_

_“Of course,” Yuko smiled, squeezing back._

_._

_._

_./._

_._

_._

_After that reunion, they made sure to stay in touch, because Yuko had suggested they go to an art gallery together some time if Lin’s schedule allowed for it and Lin wanted nothing. From then on, roughly every two months they went to a gallery or museum together. Once they sculpted like old times and Lin even tried molding metal with her fingers and minimal bending. She gifted the figurine to Yuko and when Lin was invited over to her home for tea once, she saw it standing on a shelf and her decade old painting hanging in Yuko’s kitchen. Lin couldn’t quite believe she’d kept it._

_When Lin became chief of police, Yuko was there at the ceremony to cheer her on and every single one of her friends on the Force asked who that lady with the smudged eyeshadow and the crazy bracelets was. She simply smiled and shrugged her shoulders._

_“Chief Lin Beifong,” Yuko said when Lin drove her home._

_“I am,” she smiled, “and I wouldn’t be here without you.”_

_“No, you got there on your own,” Yuko shook her head. “Don’t give me the credit for your hard work.”_

_“But I’m serious. You were one of the only people who thought I could really do it.”_

_“Well, I’m glad I was right.”_

_They rode in silence as the excitement of the celebration slowly wore off and Yuko noticed how those dark clouds came to reside over Lin’s head again. Yuko tried to remember when she’d last seen that particular expression and it took her almost all of the ride to her place, to remember it correctly, but she did, then, as Lin accompanied her to her front door. Lin’s first showing in Lee’s gallery. A sentence that had sounded so sad and disappointed, that Yuko had never forgotten about it – how could she, when she’d felt her own heart break at the sound: I just wish my Mom were here._

_Yuko felt her heart break for Lin all over again. “I’m sure she’s proud of you.”_

_Lin hummed, not even surprised Yuko knew what exactly was going on. “If you say so.”_

_Yuko reached over to caress Lin’s cheek, “I do, sweetheart.”_

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

At some point during the story, Kya had laid down on the bed with Lin. Who would have thought her quiet and cut to the case Lin would tell this elaborate of a story?

Kya smiled as Lin stopped and turned in her arms.

“That’s Yuko,” Lin finished.

Kya thought about how all of the art books in Lin’s collection made so much sense now and why Lin had always evaded any questions about them. Kya kissed her softly and when Lin followed her a little after the kiss ended, she added another one. “When did she die?”

Lin let out a shaky sigh. “A few months after the Equalists happened.”

Kya frowned in sympathy, thinking how horrible it must have been for Lin to lose Yuko during such a time. “I’m sorry.”

“It was a nice funeral. A lot of purple flowers,” she smiled. “Mei was there, too. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone cry like that.”

Kya ran her thumb over Lin’s cheekbone and muttered, “I wish I could have met Yuko.”

“Me, too,” Lin whispered as a single tear fell onto the side of her nose, “I was thinking about that earlier. She’ll never know how much happiness I found with you again and about Mom and Su and the kids.”

Kya brushed the tear away. “But I’m sure she knows.”

Lin nodded, curling a little into Kya, “Can we…” Lin swallowed the lump in her throat, “Can we pretend that she does?”

“Of course we can.”

Lin smiled. She was imagining how happy Yuko would have been for her.

Maybe they would have gone to a gallery together and Lin would have told her…

_”Do you remember Kya? I told you about her.”_

_Yuko would have nodded and smiled, already knowing what to expect, because Lin had learned that Yuko knew about everything, before she did._

_“You were right!" She wanted Yuko to know, that she'd been right. How no love was ever lost. How it was something that traveled, that was given and received and how it always came back. She wanted to make her believe that somehow Mei would have known and would have felt it._

_"She’s **my** Kya now," she would have told her._

_And then everything about Su, Toph and Mako and how the department had evolved in the last few years in spite of the damage to the city._

_Lin would have said, “Everything is different now.” (Like she had at the reunion and Yuko would remember because Yuko always remembered.) But this time Lin’s voice would have been hopeful and happy again._

_Then Yuko would have tilted her head to the side with that gentle smile and she would have said, “Oh, sweetheart, how lovely.” ___

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear what you thought :)


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